2023-10-24 22:00:57
People with disorganized attachment in their couple experience difficulties establishing secure and stable bonds, due to traumatic or negative experiences in the past. Next, we will tell you what the signs are to recognize this behavior.
Last update: October 24, 2023
A loving union is a bond where we establish a committed connection based on trust, respect and communication. As human beings it is important that we learn about the different emotions and circumstances that we must face.
If you feel that your partner frequently demands your attention, demands greater understanding from you and demands you in an exaggerated manner if you do not answer your cell phone, It is likely that you are in a relationship with disorganized attachment as a couple. Learn what this type of behavior is, its signs and when to seek professional help.
What is disorganized attachment as a couple?
Attachment theory explains the way we relate to our parents, children and partners. The habit is acquired from childhood and serves as a guide for the relationships we have throughout life.
People with disorganized attachment lack the ability to control their reactions to moments of stress. They also have difficulties relating to close figures, because it is likely that they have lived under abusive, indifferent and insensitive behavior since they were children. Thus, major traumas are triggered that generate difficulties in managing emotions in adulthood.
In this sense, disorganized attachment as a couple is an insecure style in which you experience a mix of anxious and abusive behaviors with those you are in a relationship with. Furthermore, it causes conflicts that are born from a lack of trust and insecurities. In this way, erratic behavior appears.
Signs of disorganized attachment as a couple
Courtship, marriage and cohabitation are forms of relationships. A healthy bond is characterized by trust, effective communication, mutual respect, and the ability to resolve conflicts.
Sometimes this does not happen. One of the reasons may be disorganized attachment in the couple, which affects the dynamics of the relationship. That is why we want to share with you the most important signs so that you can recognize if you find yourself in a similar situation.
1. They act in a contradictory way
People with disorganized attachment in their couple behave differently each time; They can be affectionate and distant. Another characteristic is that they tend to show sudden changes in mood and be very suspicious. Ambivalent, erratic behaviors are common, tending to create uncertainty in the couple.
2. They feel distrust and insecurity
One or both members of the couple experience difficulties trusting the other. Thus, they fear being abandoned.
There is value in addressing these concerns and working on building a solid foundation of trust. To do this, it is necessary to overcome the limited healthy two-way communication that these couples have.
3. They have low self-esteem
People with this type of behavior often have low self-esteem, reflecting insecurities. For fear of being rejected, They seek total validation and acceptance of the other. They tend to establish dependent relationships.
4. They react in an extreme and chaotic way
In everyday situations, at home or in relevant family moments, They can react in a dramatic, impulsive and exaggerated way. They have difficulty managing their emotions.
5. They have trouble creating intimacy
Many times, your partner finds it difficult to open up emotionally and establish conversations about their feelings and coexistence. In addition, It is difficult for him to share in activities, show physical affection and relate fluently.
6. They experience chaotic relationship patterns
Due to the pattern of chaotic romances in which he or she has been immersed, your partner tends to repeat this pattern in new relationships. The same They can be turbulent, unstable or problematic, with constant conflictsemotional ups and downs, lack of effective communication and difficulties establishing a healthy connection.
7. They live with past traumas or unresolved emotional wounds
The emotional injuries they have suffered deteriorate their self-esteem. Disorganized attachment reduces the ability to trust others and experience positive emotions.
When to seek professional help?
Disorganized attachment as a couple is not permanent and can be treated. We suggest you seek help from a mental health professional specialized in couples if you are experiencing any of the following situations or know someone who is experiencing them:
Toxic and abusive relationship: marked by abuse, physical or emotional violence.
Conflicts in communication: It is impossible to communicate or reach agreements with your partner.
Difficulties in raising children: Conflicts in the relationship or differences due to the styles of parenting or education of children increase.
Support your partner
You can help your partner by informing yourself and learning about this type of attachment. Thus, you will understand the difficulties and challenges that that person is going through. You will be more understanding of his traumas, past life, and ways of relating.
Create spaces for open and honest communication to share emotions, concerns and fears. Practice active listening and offer reassurance to foster the trust of a stable and loving relationship. Together you can overcome disorganized attachment as a couple!
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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