2023-10-09 14:00:53
Some only approach us out of interest, to obtain some benefit or advantage. How can we identify these interested friends? Discover it here.
Last update: October 9, 2023
We all want to have true, loyal and sincere friends, who support us in difficult times and share our joys. Sometimes, we meet people who approach us out of interest, who They just want to get something out of the friendship. and they don’t care about our well-being.
These can make us feel used, disappointed and hurt. It is important to identify them and stay away from them. But how do you know if someone is an interested friend? What signs help us detect these people who only want to take advantage of us?
In this article we will help you discover eight traits of those friends with ulterior motives, so that you can distinguish them and keep your distance.
1. They only call you when they need you
An interested friend doesn’t contact you just to chat or find out how you are doing. This type of “friend” does not seek your company for the pleasure of chatting or inquiring about your daily life.
Their contact is usually for a specific need. Whether he requires money, a favor, or any resource he deems useful, that’s when he looks for you.
When you find yourself in a situation where you require their support or help, the story is different. This attitude reflects a relationship in which benefit only flows in one direction. True friends are there for you, in good times and bad, communicating not just out of necessity; but for the interest of knowing your well-being or sharing experiences.
2. They flatter you excessively
It is common for people to appreciate those who value them and recognize their qualities, but we must distinguish between praise and those that hide other intentions.
Interested friends flatter you excessively to gain your trust or sympathy and thus get what they want from you. His praise is not consistent with his actions.
Their objective is to gain your trust to achieve something specific, taking advantage of the bond they have created through their words. It can diminish your image in front of others or speak badly about you behind your back. This behavior reflects that their interest is motivated by convenience rather than genuine affection.
3. They make you feel guilty
They always want you to do what he or she wants. If not, they make you feel guilty. They manipulate you to agree to their requests and they make you think you’re a bad friend if you don’t.
They take advantage of any opportunity to make you do what they want, without taking into account the repercussions that this could have on you. Likewise, they use tactics to play with your emotions and affect your perception of yourself and your inner peace. Recognizing these signs and setting clear boundaries will help you avoid draining and inequitable relationships.
4. They are not happy about your achievements
An acquaintance with ulterior motives is not happy about your triumphs, but acts as if he were in an eternal rivalry with you. Although he may put up a friendly front, His actions and words could hide a veiled desire to see you stumble.
Such individuals, driven by their own insecurities, will try to sabotage you through negative comments and criticism. Instead of pushing you forward, They will try to downplay your achievements as a way of maintaining a position of superiority.
You must recognize these attitudes and keep your distance from people who do not contribute positively to your life and surround yourself with those who truly value your aspirations and achievements.
5. They don’t listen to you or understand you
They don’t listen to you when you speak or try to understand you or put themselves in your place. They only talk about themselves or their problems. and they expect you to pay attention or give them advice.
It is common for them to monopolize conversations to talk about their issues. The attitude can make you feel as if you are merely an audience for a monologue, rather than a friend in a reciprocal dialogue.
Lack of interest in your well-being and indifference to your opinions reveal an emotional disconnection. Instead of strengthening the bond of friendship, this attitude can weaken it and create distance..
Such a relationship becomes one-way, while one party gives, the other only takes. In the long term, it can be exhausting and unrewarding. Identify these attitudes and reflect on whether it is the type of friendship you want to maintain in your life.
6. They always criticize or judge you
They make you feel inferior or insecure and try to impose their point of view or way of doing things. Neither They value your qualities and only focus on your defects or mistakes.
Instead of accepting you with your strengths and weaknesses, they seem to have a constant need to point out the aspects they consider negative. These criticisms are not only presented as direct comments, but can be expressed in subtle ways, through insinuations or comparisons designed to make you feel inferior or insecure.
What is even more discouraging is that while they focus on highlighting your mistakes or flaws, they rarely recognize or value your qualities. They may overlook your accomplishments, minimize your successes, and ignore the characteristics that make you unique and valuable.
This negativity can create a toxic environment. Instead of feeling supported and valued, you might find yourself defensive or in a vulnerable position.
7. They borrow money from you and don’t pay it back
An interested person, rather than seeking an authentic connection based on trust and mutual appreciation, tends to see the relationship as an opportunity to obtain advantages.
It is common for him to ask you for money or personal things, under the pretext of an urgent need or a temporary situation. These loans become habitual and you rarely pay back what you have lent them. Doing so will exceed any promised deadline.
It’s as if he assumes that you have an obligation to help him without expecting anything in return. Your reactions may be manipulation tactics to evade responsibility and make you feel guilty for claiming your own assets.
Instead of being a source of support, friendship is based on mistrust. You have to consider whether it is worth maintaining a relationship with someone who prioritizes their own interests over respect and consideration for others.
8. They are not with you in difficult times
A friend of convenience approaches you in times of prosperity or when they see that you can benefit in some way. In the moments where you most long for company and understanding, you find yourself facing loneliness or the feeling of abandonment on your part.
Instead of being a pillar of support, this person chooses to distance themselves, avoid contact or disappear completely. The calls, messages and meetings cease and the promises fade.
A true friendship is based on mutual respect, loyalty and the desire to be present through thick and thin, regardless of external circumstances.
The importance of recognizing and avoiding interested friends
These are some signs that may indicate that someone in your life is looking for personal gain more than an authentic connection with you.
If you notice these patterns in someone close to you, it might be healthy to reconsider the relationship. and surround yourself with individuals who care and value you. It is essential to discern and choose the friends who accompany you on the journey of life.
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