We barely had time to recover from the wonderful comeback of the Madob series into our lives (really, there is an abnormal abundance and it will only continue like this), and here we are already in the midst of a tremendous comeback of detectives to television. One can philosophize a lot about why exactly now detectives are so fashionable – is this The constant feeling that we are surrounded by blatant and even more blatant lies, that we are constantly witnessing some kind of public crime, and we really need a detective to come and solve the whole business for us? Or maybe it’s the fact that we’ve exhausted long seasonal plots that go nowhere and we want to return to the classic format of one murder per episode and a killer One (or two!) caught at the end? What does it matter, the main thing is that there is an abnormal amount of crime plots to follow, and one way or another, before the trend, after it and as it explodes: these are the TV detectives we loved most in the 21st century.
Sherlock Holmes // “Sherlock”
Special talent: Has an unusual analytical ability that allows him more or less everything. He can identify which hospital you were born in by the way you sneeze, and will do so even under the influence of drugs. And then you will be mocked for not having deduced the solution yourself. It’s elementary.
Notable weakness: A strange obsession with Moriarty. Oh, and drugs.
Call him when: Scotland Yard give up.
Why is he so good: Because he is a reliable modern version of the detective genre’s Superman. Holmes in the Benedict Cumberbatch version intensifies the antipathy, and is undoubtedly on some kind of spectrum, but all these are qualities that allow this version to exist in modern reality. His talent for analytical analysis manages to bypass even the most sophisticated technologies, and remain manic while doing so. That’s why I numb him, but it’s also the emotional detachment that allows him to decipher mysteries.
Bank and McNulty // “The Undercover”
Special talent: To remain two honest and clean cops (well, professionally. Not so much in personal life) in a place like Baltimore.
Notable weakness: In the fifth season, they really falsified evidence and invented a serial killer in order to get more budgets for the homicide division. True, their intentions were good, but what the hell, Jimmy?
Call them when: You have to keep the devil deep in his pit.
Why are they so good: Because compared to all the other detectives on the list, they are the best when they are together – not a detective and a sidekick who barely follows him (intellectually) like Holmes and Dr. Watson, nor two alpha detectives who can’t help but clash all the time like Rust and Marty from “True Detective”, but really Two excellent partners. Also because they face much more realistic investigations under much more difficult conditions than any of the other members on the list. Because of their amazing chemistry, because of Bank’s unforgettable “Yo Happy Now, Beach?”
Charlie // “Poker Face”
Special talent: The perfect superpower for a detective: she can instinctively and perfectly recognize when she (or her) is being lied to. And a perfect husky New York accent like Natasha Lyonne’s must be considered a “special talent”.
Notable weakness: She doesn’t really have the strength for this shit, she has a mobster casino owner on her back looking for revenge. But that’s okay, she’ll also solve the next murder she comes across.
Call her when: Charlie is not the type of detective they are called – she is the type of detective that somehow always has a murder when they are around. Which is quite suspicious, to be honest.
Why is she so good: Because she has no choice.
Jackson Lamb // “Slow Horses”
Special talent: He is a wonderful detective and he is a super spy with a real sense of justice, tremendous dedication to his job (not that he will admit it) and has an encyclopedic knowledge of the secrets of Cold War espionage. But his real talent is insults: “I don’t usually give speeches, but this feels like a big moment, and if it all goes wrong we might never see each other again,” he tells his team at a critical moment, “You’re useless. All of you. Our work together was a point A low point in a disappointing career.” Someone give us a Lamb and Logan Roy insult match, please.
Notable weakness: Alcohol, laziness, extremely cheap Chinese food and horrible body odor. Irritable character. continue?
Call him when: Oh, no need to call him. He’ll show up right where he’s needed, and he’s good enough at his job to disappear before anyone notices he was ever there.
Why is he so good: Because he never lets career ambitions or internal politics manage him and his team. Because while he’s a toxic, hostile and abusive boss, he’s also exactly the boss you’d want on your side if you were a failed British spy. Because he really saw everything – and hated everything – and then stayed to see it one more time.
Jonathan Ames // “Bored”
Special talent: writing. He is actually a writer who decides to engage in private investigations to get ideas for detective stories. Everything Else? Well, not so much.
Notable weakness: He’s not that good a detective. Actually, he’s not that much of a detective at all. And he also likes Wade Wayne a little too much. And he’s not amazing at boxing either, as we find out in an unforgettable plot from the second season.
Call him when: All the other detectives in New York are busy.
Why is he so good: Because luckily for him, he is a detective in a comedy, so it is clear that he will somehow manage to solve any mystery that comes his way – and always in less than 30 minutes. Fortunately, he really gets super simple investigations.
Saga // “The Bridge”
Special talent: Integrity and directness.
Notable weakness: She’s not exactly… the most diplomatic pencil in the pencil case.
Call her when:
Why is she so good: Because she never works enough. Because next to her hardness and coldness there is also something a little naive and completely captivating. Because it more or less kicked off the “Nordic Noir” craze on TV in one fell swoop, and that even though this very specific subgenre spawned a whole lot more detectives (and lots of detectives), they don’t come close to Saga’s endless style.
Stan Beeman // “The Americans”
Special talent: Stan serves in the counterintelligence unit of the FBI, that is – he is a type of detective responsible for catching spies, and he does know how to do everything that type of person should know how to do: he is very good at investigations, he knows how to break people, he knows how to play them and he also Not bad at all when it comes to action. The only problem is that the protagonists of the series, whom he knows as Philip and Elizabeth Jennings, are undercover KGB agents who are even better than him at all these things.
Notable weakness: Didn’t notice for six seasons that his neighbors, who are also his best friends, are Soviet spies at all.
Call him when: You are not sure whether someone is Russian or not.
Why is he so good: Because in the end, just when he has the chance to capture Philip and Elizabeth after years of lies, he chooses to believe them one last time – just when it’s the right thing to do to end the Cold War (or at least, to prevent an event that would have caused it to continue more or less to this day . Oh, Shit, wait).
Adrian Monk // “Monk”
Special talent: He has OCD.
Notable weakness: He has OCD. And full of anxiety.
Call him when: No matter what you do, call him around the clock. or at 11:11. Or in even minutes, we’re not sure what obsession he’s on right now.
Why is he so good: Because he’s a kind of modern Sherlock Holmes without the narcissism, because he’s just as vulnerable as he is sharp, because obsessiveness is the best quality a police detective can ask for (so, it’s true, it’s not exactly the most faithful television representation of the very real OCD disorder, but we sorry about that).
Veronica Mars // “Veronica Mars”
Special talent: More than anything, Veronica’s greatest talent is her wit and sharpness – not necessarily qualities that help crack a mystery, but probably without these tools, she would have been arrested, kidnapped or killed. But every time, her quick tongue managed to spin a lie that was successful enough, and get herself out of a difficult situation.
Notable weakness: She has no resources. After all, even in a town as rich as Neptune, Veronica is still the only daughter of a detective, and not as polished as her friends. What’s more, it covers up this lack of human settlements.
Call her when: A student is murdered and everyone is too rich to admit it.
Why is she so good: Veronica is really not the best detective on the list, and although she is smart beyond her years, she is also not brilliant at classic detective work. What makes her outstanding are two important qualities for any detective – her tireless tenacity, and the fact that she is not afraid of anything. In the end, she solved her mysteries thanks to the locking of her Rottweiler on the suspects, and the fact that she continued in the face of all the threats and risks – and further taunted them with pointed punches.
Rust Cole and Martin Hart // “True Detective”
Special talent: Policing (Marty), existentialist philosophy (Rust), heavy drinking (both).
Notable weakness: They don’t quite manage to stop fighting, even when they are in the middle of an investigation.
Call them when: You’ve already finished all the alcohol, so they won’t be tempted.
Why are they so good: Because they are determined enough to solve a series of murders even 17 years late, if they have to.
Mabel Moreh // “RC Murderers in the Building”
Special talent: Recording podcasts, hiding evidence, past acquaintances with key figures in the case at such a level that it is already suspicious, and also building surprising house traps. To steal scenes from Steve Martin and Martin Short, which is a miracle in itself.
Notable weakness: Can’t seem to stop lying to her partners.
Call her when: There is a murder, of course, but only specifically in her apartment building in New York. Yes, it’s a bit of a narrow specialty for a detective, but what can you do?
Why is she so good: Because she’s the sharpest apex of a triangle that… well, maybe her two partners on the local hetero-crime/local homicide investigation podcast aren’t exactly such ideal detectives, which makes her seem especially sharp compared to them. But hey, the main thing is that in the end she does the job, and with a ton of charisma.