DThe week starts with one of the most beautiful sentences of the season. After the weekly dismissal papers were handed out to Elsa, who suffers from Russian lips (who has probably been sunning herself somewhere on Venice Beach since then), the GNTM community was restless.
Who could replace Elsa as a reliable bon mot purveyor? But then: exhale. With Cassy, a worthy successor is already ready. She was the first to discover the challenge location, stood fascinated in front of the “Yoga & Dance Studio” and quickly predicted: “That means we have to dance.”
“Marilyn Monroe is a living legend”
Exactly. Who doesn’t know the famous yoga dances like the “Downward Slowfox”, the “Shavasana Rumba” or the “Cobra Jive”? Incidentally, Cassy was a dance teacher in pre-GNTM life and is probably hoping for an advantage. And indeed, the choreographer Micky Kurz (a mixture of Micky Beisenherz and Sebastian Kurz, not only in name but also visually) is waiting for the top model dance crew.
The dance luminary immediately reveals the topic of the challenge: Marilyn Monroe. Candidate Mirella is shocked: “Marilyn Monroe is a living legend.” It remains unclear whether she confused Marilyn Monroe with Marilyn Manson or met John F. Kennedy’s favorite singer somewhere by chance while shopping with Elvis.
Candidate Olivia (centre) with the Tiktok stars
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Image: ProSieben/Richard Huebner
First, a “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” choreo is rehearsed. Risk of collapse for many candidates. Olivia immediately doubts her multitasking skills: “It’s a lot of steps and something else with my hands, my brain can’t keep up.” A sentence that you only hear from Til Schweiger when he brings two plates and a bottle of wine to the table at the same time should wear.
When show day begins the next morning, the pressure continues to mount. The saying goes that there is no elevator to success, but in times of Tiktok that is considered outdated. Consequently, the Klum ensemble is unexpectedly surprised by the so-called Elevator Boys during their dance camp.
To me, Elevator Boys used to be polite guys in funny uniforms, standing around in luxury hotel elevators, pushing buttons. These Elevator Boys basically do the same thing, only they don’t wear uniforms, have messy haircuts and film themselves winking at the camera. An interesting concept in itself.
On stage, after just one night of practice, many Monroe clones are underperforming. Some dance like Olaf Scholz rules: hardly noticeable. But I can understand that. There you have the Elevator Boys at the start – and then you have to walk down the same stairs over and over again for hours.
Christian Cowan (left to right), Heidi Klum and the Elevator Boys
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Image: ProSieben/Richard Huebner
The Austrian Lara, with her accent, the nasal voice, the subliminal mode of complaint and the blond wig, seems so desperate that one might think: the pink dresses suit Lisa Eckhart well. Luckily, like everyone else, she only has to go once. So the Marilyn Monroe fiasco ended in a timely manner.
As a further guest judge and Final Walk outfit sponsor, the designer Christian Cowan scored points the next day. In order not to be mistaken for the sixth Elevator Boy, Cowan wears the official Ruhrpott allotment garden look for the opening of the barbecue season: glittering boxer shorts and a half-open baggy shirt. No one would be surprised if suddenly a manta record was played.
During the decision walk, the cowardized catwalk trainees then have to slalom over a digital type case. If the absurdity of the tasks is to remain at this level, there must be a shoot next week in which the contestants pose in handstands on a giant pink plastic flamingo with real alligators and sing “Breathless” backwards. What a model encounters in real professional life.
GNTM candidate Leona (centre)
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Image: ProSieben/Richard Huebner
Until then, the cover aspirants can use the week to reflect on the season’s most valuable piece of advice. Elevator boy Bene Schulz gives Ida and Anya the following insider tip on the runway: “It’s super good when you’re confident, but it’s a different thing when you’re not the best.” Huh? Even the former juror and Confidence Pope Thomas Hayo had his first synapses cracking at home in front of the television.
At this point I’ll tell you: It’s nonsense that you can only be self-confident if you end up being the best. Plus that Heidi Klum apparently doesn’t like being reminded of Lisa Eckhart and therefore sorts out Lara in the end. Cancel Culture now also in the model business. A scandal!