DThis week the time has finally come: Heidi Klum shows her claws. So, her grasping claws. And don’t worry, Bergisch-Gladbach’s most successful export (after Wolfgang Bosbach) doesn’t want to spontaneously audition for “Edward Scissorhands Reloaded”, but had an oversized automatic gripper set up for the obligatory action shoot on the beach in Los Angeles. A gripper isn’t a robot that continually licks you lewdly, but rather a skill attraction at county fairs and tourist hotspots where parents sacrifice their vacation pay so their kids could use a joystick-controlled gripper arm to snag a stuffed animal that’s been around for so long vegetating in the vending machine that it was probably purchased with D-Mark. In other words: you let yourself be blinded by the externals, invest a lot of time and money and get something that looks much rancid in reality. A bit like dating Tinder Super Likers.
Of course nobody looks rancid today, except maybe my gags. Here’s a little warning to level it down to the lowest level of witticism: No model candidate wants to shoot again on the beach in Los Angeles. But Venice has to be. In the beautiful GNTM tradition of creating both complex and nonsensical shooting scenarios and then taking them ad absurdum with a bizarre Photoshop trick, the beach background is then retouched for the photos and the models are placed in front of a skyline. It’s a bit like booking the Royal Suite in the Adlon for 17,000 euros a night and then sleeping in an igloo tent in the Alexanderplatz underground station.
Everything can be retouched afterwards: Nina, Mirella and Katherine in Venice Beach
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Image: ProSieben/Richard Huebner
That doesn’t prevent real professionals like harmony prodigy Anya from wanting to deliver in the best possible way. Photographer Sheryl Nields recommends her: “Go crazy!” Anya promises: “I will!” This promise, however, is even emptier than Boris Becker’s accounts. But Caro also consistently delivers top performance. This week a floor exercise as well as anatomically unique number. Klum asks her: “Try the splits standing up.” And Coco is lucky. Next week, the national coach will be even more merciless for future discount code recruits and demands: “Try the hip swing while swimming” and “Try the Fosbury flop while lying down.”
Anya against everyone, everyone against Anya
Meanwhile, the hairstylists seem chronically underwhelmed and therefore give Mirella a second makeover. She is disappointed with the result and whines on the set: “Can someone help me with my hair?” A sentence I last heard from a GNTM candidate when we hung over the toilet bowl in a club toilet during Fashion Week. But different story. The fact is: Mirella probably presents her worst performance of the season so far. Or as Thomas Tuchel would say: I fell in love with my Mirella.
Main prize: Ida caught a stuffed animal in the machine.
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Image: ProSieben/Richard Huebner
Marielena has completely different worries. Apparently, she wasn’t primarily nominated as a model, but rather as a probation officer for Anya. She does this job well. Anya, however, still stabs her mercilessly: “We were only young models, and now six old ones have joined us.” That is ungrateful to Marielena – but above all a subtle diss to latecomer Maike, who at 23 is not necessarily close the pension stands. What could you not become at the age of 23? Except maybe Lothar Matthäus’ new girlfriend now?