2023-04-19 16:34:14
“A cup of coffee”, translated as “a cup of coffee”, is how many people order their drink at a cafe in Denmark. To those who have grown up in countries where “please” is ingrained in their vocabulary, this Danish phrase can feel incomplete. But an urge to slip some sort of nicety in there may cause confusion all around.
This is not only a reflection of the directness of the Danish language, especially compared to English, but of the many different ways to be polite.
“I guess the rules for politeness are different depending on what you’re used to. If you’re overly polite, it is just as strange as when people have other ways of expressing politeness,” Peter Bakker, a senior lecturer in linguistics at Aarhus University, told The Local.
That’s not to say you can’t turn your coffee order into something more formal and polite, it’s just not expected in this instance.
Some people will use so (“thank you”) as a substitute for please: a cup of coffee, please. You can also say can i have a cup of coffee (“can I get a cup of coffee”), I would like to ask for a cup of coffee (“I’d like to ask for a cup of coffee”) or I would like a cup of coffee (“I’d like a cup of coffee”).
From a British perspective, Danes are direct. From a Dutch perspective, such as Bakker’s, they are not. “It is the users who make the language,” the linguistics expert said.
Please is probably the closest word to “please” that exists in the Danish language. It is primarily used in the written form, like in please close the door (“please close the door”). Directly translated it means “be so kind as to close the door”, similarly to how it is used in a slightly different grammatical construct in vWould you be so kind as to hand me the chocolate? (“would you be so kind as to pass me the chocolate?”).
“In some languages, a phrase like ‘give me the chocolate’, has only one way to express that, whether it’s to a child, a seller, a Queen. In Danish, there are a variety of ways to say it,” Bakker explained.
Some examples of this include:
Will you give me the chocolate? – “Would you give me the chocolate?”
Can you give me the chocolate? – “Are you able to give me the chocolate?”
I would like the chocolate – “I wouldn’t mind having the chocolate.”
Would you be so kind/sweet as to give me the chocolate? – “Would you be so kind as to give me the chocolate?
“It is a universal rule of politeness, that the more polite the expression, the longer it is. So the symbolic distance expressed in the length of the phrase, is the length of the social distance between you and person you’re talking to. The better you know that person, the fewer words you use,” Bakker said.
This is why it can take time to get used to the subtleties of politeness in different countries because it doesn’t take long to drop those lengthy phrases in Denmark, he explained. But there are other ways of showing politeness.
“The Danes are champions at saying thank you, they say thank you for everything,” Bakker said.
“On Friday we had guests at our house. If I now meet one of those guests, they are expected to say to me thanks for last, which is “thanks for the last time” we saw each other. Even half a year later, you remind each other of the nice evening you had together,” he said.
Other examples of using so include thanks for foodto say thanks for a meal; thanks for today/tonightsaying thanks for a day or evening spent together; thank you very much, to show a lot of gratitude; thank youfor many thanks, you’re welcome to say you’re welcome, thanks for the invitation and thank you for comingto say thank you for coming to your guests.
There’s also the use of the phrase here you go, when you give something to somebody. This is a short form of the phrase you’re welcome which literally means “be so good” but can be translated to “there you go, you’re welcome”.
“And that’s of course an expression of politeness,” Bakker pointed out.
It is only in the requesting of something that a word like “please” does not exist in Danish. But as Bakker explained, its absence and the perceived directness of Danes should not be mistaken for rudeness.
#doesnt #Danes #rude