“With your partner’s family, the healthy thing is to be natural and have a close relationship, but don’t set the bar too high either”

2023-05-08 07:00:00

In 2017, Nacho Tornell published Incouplertea book in which he dissected the basic skeleton of the couple: affectivity, love, sexuality, commitment, priority, communication, respect, valuation… In short, all those pieces that must fit perfectly to function (and enjoy) a relationship.

With four sold-out editions, it arrives Relationshipuntil (Planeta, 2023), a manual that complements the previous one but that does not look at the couple from within but through what the author calls ‘concentric circles’: children, family of origin, friends and hobbies and the job. “External agents that put the couple in check and that must be dealt with together and separately,” says this family and couple conflict mediator with two decades of experience behind him. We talk about all of them in this exclusive interview with 20Minutos.

When you don’t prioritize your partner ahead of your family, things don’t go well because they feel like you’re leaving them aside

Your attitude with your partner’s family should be that of wanting to be well with them, fundamentally out of love for your partner.

Disagree with your partner in private but don’t leave them at the feet of the horses when you are with your blood family

The arrival of a child is a ‘tsunami’ that devastates everything and new parents repeat the same mistake: stop treating each other as a couple

A vibrant relationship will create a home with much more light and that can only benefit your children.

If you only enjoy when you are with your colleagues there is a problem because you cannot dissociate having fun from the couple

The challenge for couples in the 21st century is to understand that it is possible to be very well together and overcome the tide of individualism in which we move.