2023-06-04 13:36:34
Depression has been in the top ten for the highest burden of disease and highest healthcare costs for years. Depression is therefore an important public health problem and is the largest psychological cause of absenteeism in the workplace. An often overlooked effect in this story is that on the future of our society, namely our children. “When I was sick, I couldn’t be the mother I should be. Not only did I have little energy to do fun things, but I was also often emotionally absent’, says expert Roos Hanemaaijer. Fortunately, Roos is committed to doing something about this in collaboration with the Kernkracht foundation, in Gouda.
Long-term consequences Children of a parent with a depression or anxiety disorder have a high risk of becoming depressed or developing an anxiety disorder themselves. ‘Rather the rule than the exception’ can be read in an interview with PhD student Petra Havinga of the UMCC about the development of a mood or anxiety disorder in children of depressed or anxious patients. Possible problems that can arise are that children ignore themselves too often, are too docile or adapt strongly to the wishes and needs of others. ‘I noticed that my children were extra nice to me when I was sick. As if she felt responsible for my happiness’, says Roos.
Large gap in care Despite these data, psychiatric care for adults and those for adolescents are still strictly separated, so that both the sick parent and the children are treated separately.
viewed from each other rather than as a whole. Attention to children and parenting should be a standard part of daily treatment within mental health care, Havinga advises in her interview. ‘We see that parents with psychological problems can be reluctant to ask for parenting support and help for their child. Shame, fear of stigma or loss of parental authority can cause this’.
Make it negotiable
That this stigma is a major problem, experience expert Roos not only experienced as a patient, but also in her work as a volunteer at the Kernkracht foundation in Gouda. ‘There are still a lot of misunderstandings about mental illness. It has also cost me a lot of effort to be open about this. Fear of being seen as a bad mother in particular played a major role in this. Until I realized that talking about it was the only way to help my children. That’s how I was an involved and supportive mother.’ Based on her experience, Hanemaaijer wrote her own experience story in novel form two years ago and she has now published a children’s book with fellow experience expert Esther van der Ham to also help children of depressed parents.
‘Especially by explaining to my children that I was ill, that there was nothing I could do about it and certainly not to them, there was room for them to express their own emotions. That is also the biggest piece of advice that has stayed with me from our parent guidance: give space to your children’s emotions, they can also be there’. To help others in this, Hanemaaijer has used five stuffed animals from her children to show how important it is to talk about your feelings. Colleague Esther van der Ham has illustrated these cuddly toys in a catchy way.
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