Growing up with the father generates MORE SECURITY

2023-06-14 16:45:52

In the context of the celebration of Father’s Day in Ecuador, growing up with the father generates MORE SECURITY, which is remembered this Sunday, June 18, we address the role of the father in raising children, with the professional assistance of the psychologist clinician, Fabricio Espin.

What is the father’s role in the family?

There are two perspectives. The first delivered by society, which is to be a provider. The second comes from neuroscience and psychology, which is very important for the development of children. Infants raised with their father are more confident, more independent, and have higher self-esteem. There is some issue in parenting that is in the hands of the father, which makes the child feel more secure.

What should the father provide for the children?

Safety. However, this will depend on the degree of commitment; that is to say, the father is of no use if he is completely absent. At present, he must not only provide security, but also must demonstrate a more active role. He must share 50 percent of the tasks with the woman, this because they are already inserted in the labor market. The father must not only provide security, but also love, tenderness and warmth.

Is the participation of the father essential in raising children?

Yes. For certain psychological and biological reasons, the father does provide the children with experiences that only the woman could not. The man is more adventurous and has greater skill in handling tools. However, the duality of the father and the mother allows the child to have access to many more visions of the world. The role of both is essential.

Why is the love of the father fundamental in the children?

I don’t like to think about the love of the father or the mother, because the diversity of family models is very wide. Love is indispensable. There should always be an adult figure to provide that unconditional love, as this will allow children to feel safe and loved, and give them a solid foundation to go out and explore the world. Currently, the father has to give love, be tender and affectionate so that his children understand that masculinity does not mean being violent and aggressive, but rather goes much further.

How important is the affection of the father in the upbringing of the son?

Affection is one of the primary tools in parenting. The father, or the mother, must have a balance between love and control. Control defined as imposing rules, discipline, limits, which will allow children to be responsible. Love and affection so they are safe and don’t feel intimidated.

Why is the guidance of the father in the children essential?

When we talk about guidance, we refer to the importance of the example. By wanting to guide someone I am raising an unequal relationship, which is an outdated point of view. Currently, there is talk of horizontal relationships; that is, the child and the parent teach each other. The example is fundamental, because I cannot demand something that I do not fulfill. I cannot require my children to be ordained, if I am not; I can’t demand that they read if I don’t. Guidance from example.

Should the father be involved in the development of his children?

Both the father and the mother have a single opportunity to share moments with their children. Only once will he graduate from the initial, or participate in the inauguration of the fourth grade championship. In those unique experiences you can lay the foundations of self-esteem and educate. We must get involved as much as we can in our children’s activities, since they are unique opportunities.

Is instilling values ​​a fundamental task of the father?

It is the task of the father and mother, or of an authority in the house. It is important that values ​​exist in the house, since they generate systems of norms, rules and limits, which must be respected, and sometimes negotiated. You have to learn to negotiate the modification of the rules, in case you don’t like it.

Is the development of children affected by the absence of the father?

It is not affected. What the child needs is love. If the minor has access to that love, be it from the mother, grandfather or uncle, the child will grow properly. We think that maybe a masculine or feminine love is required, but it doesn’t work like that.