2023-06-22 08:22:00
Policeman, baker, painter. There are jobs that grandparents and children alike can imagine. And then there are those who primarily have people in the social network LinkedIn: change makers, binge learners, self-starters, future openers, entrepreneurship lovers, new work weirdo. Exactly what these people do to pay for what’s in their fridge remains largely unknown. But when it comes to the innumerable contributions of these overperformers on the career platform with almost 20 million German users, they are all incredibly successful, namely with being successful. It’s worth taking a look at what was going on there this week.
Sunday
Work-life balance – a term that is not only booming on the career network. What is meant is the balance between working hours and private life.
But according to LinkedIn, work is overrated anyway. Or at least what is commonly understood by that. Because on the platform of the permanently reflected, it is mostly about the fact that work is actually not that important. Unless it is the work on oneself. After all, the project “I” is also what one is busy with throughout one’s life. Working for money, especially work that is subject to social security contributions, is rather a hindrance, sometimes even stressful.
There was also a “friendly reminder” on the subject of work-life balance on Sunday: a so-called LinkedIn Top Voice (an award for users with a wide range and a tendency towards a large number of pithy Denglisch calendar sayings) recommended not writing any emails on Sundays. After all, at the age of 80 you will never remember having sent an important email. Are you still grateful in old age for having spent your Sunday on LinkedIn? One does not know.
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Montag
“Thank God it’s Monday – learn to love Mondays!” This is what LinkedIn muscle man Carsten Maschmeyer recommends to his 237,000 followers. Because those who hate Monday are in a negative spiral, according to the billionaire. Of course, this should be avoided by declaring war on the “slide rose”. slider-what? A clever neologism by the bestselling author (“Selfmade: living successfully”), which is intended to describe that work that is left undone is postponed and therefore leads to failure. So if you work through everything, you start the week in a good mood. Tips from the billionaire. So help rich.
Tuesday
Since too much processing of to-do lists sounds very much like the unoriginal meritocracy, there are so-called systemic coaches on LinkedIn. They offer a lot of pause and reflection for a lot of money. For example, more “Self Invest” is recommended there for “Personal Growth” of the “Inner Self”.
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Users are very inspired. You can see that in the reactions. It seems as if the singing bowl yoga class during the lunch break has a euphoric, even enlightening effect. Because they like such posts, comment, say thank you. So you got the meaning behind these terms. And if not, just leave a rocket emoji like that. The important thing is that you are as exuberant as possible when playing trivial bingo. Or as it is called on LinkedIn: networking.
Wednesday
“Why am I hearing about this book for the first time?” wonders a high-reach user, referring to the book “Let My People Go Surfing” by Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard. After all, the user has a master’s degree in management and, in addition to Elon Musk’s biography, also read “The McKinsey Way” during his training. But bigger, faster and more, in short, growth, is not what the economy needs. Solutions are needed to combat climate change and the collapse of the population. Unfortunately, what the collapse of the population is supposed to be is not properly explained. But alliteration is known to work beautifully in the attention economy of the internet. And they always sound a bit like being Barack Obama’s speechwriter.
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Unfortunately, what is in the book of the Patagonia founder is not described in detail. But that doesn’t matter, because anyone who can pay 521 euros a year for a LinkedIn premium account with a golden logo in their profile knows Patagonia anyway. It’s not without reason that the brand, which is known for its streamlined down jacket popular among strategy consultants, is affectionately called Patagucci. With prices starting at just under 200 euros, it’s not surprising. But it is reassuring to know that overcoming the materialistic meritocracy in the fight against growth cannot do without status symbols.
Thursday
Anyone who has tears in their eyes from this wealth of wisdom should use this state right away. Because on LinkedIn it says that empathy and crying are no less than the superpowers of the future. Many users, mostly women, report when and why they cried at work. Sure, crying in the office bathroom is regression, but progress before the team. Or as one user writes: “Emotion = Energy in Motion”.
Freitag
Work also includes family. After all, the corona pandemic has involuntarily given the working world a look into the private lives of colleagues and thus also the spitting children and laughing babies in front of the zoom cameras. Fathers in particular are now very active when it comes to “care work”.
That’s what LinkedIn wants you to believe. Because nothing gets as many likes as men who post photos of themselves with their children and talk about their new role as “dad”. What women would come across as conservative, even reactionary, is celebrated with “working dads” and “full-time dads”. Then they give valuable tips on how working with a child can work (simply set appointments with the child in the calendar), as if they had invented parenthood. And with that: Happy weekend!
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