2023-06-23 15:33:39
Libelle spoke to influence psychologist Kelly Heuts about habits that unconsciously cause stress and about how to get rid of those habits.
Healthy and unhealthy stress
According to Heuts, stress is the experience of tension or pressure and does not necessarily have to be unhealthy. “Stress is a survival instinct designed to get us out of tense situations,” she says. “We therefore need stress somewhere, because it encourages us to act quickly in situations where it is necessary.” According to Heuts, stress becomes unhealthy when you are not in such a situation, but you do feel that way all the time. “The same applies if you experience the stress as very intense or if it persists for a long time.”
Habits that cause stress
According to Heuts, many people experience stress because we have certain habits that unconsciously cause stress. “Checking the notifications on your phone as soon as you wake up, not wanting to miss anything, saying ‘yes’ too often to things you really don’t want at all, or helping others before you think about yourself.” Procrastination, not listening to your body and social media use also play a major role, according to Heuts.
The fact that we ourselves do not even realize that these actions cause stress, according to Heuts, is due to the fact that we are simply used to acting in this way. “Habits are often so embedded in your system that you don’t know any better. And if you don’t know any better, it’s hard to change or improve it.” Heuts therefore advises people to reflect on their everyday actions. “Only when you realize that you might be better off not doing those actions, you can turn the switch.”
Examine habits
In the period after such a moment of realization, people discover how difficult it can be to break those habits. “We live in an era that focuses on short-term solutions, while long-term solutions are often better and give more peace of mind,” says Heuts. “Moreover, many people suffer from procrastination due to the stress they experience, which means that they do not immediately grasp the problem or even never tackle it at all.”
“People are creatures of habit,” Heuts explains. “In addition to the fact that we sometimes don’t know how we can solve something, sometimes deep down we just don’t want to do it yet. We like what we are used to because it feels familiar. Even if it is ultimately bad for us.”
Break habits and patterns
Still, according to Heuts, there are things you can do to break habits that cause stress.
Think carefully about why you want to stop something. Only when you know that can you find the motivation to actually do it. Write down the reasons in a booklet and look at them, for example, at a time when you experience discomfort. Ask yourself what’s holding you back. Do you actually know deep down that something is not good for you, but you can’t stop doing it? Then ask yourself what obstacle is bothering you and work on that first. Start small and make it bigger later. Many people often start very big right away, while this sometimes makes it more difficult to maintain new patterns. Therefore, start small and only increase the solution later. This way you increase the chance that you will actually succeed. Talk to someone who understands you. Chances are you think you’re the only one with certain problems, when you’re not. Try to talk a little more often about what you are experiencing, how you think this is and what you feel you can change about it. Perhaps your interlocutor will come up with valuable insights and you will feel less alone! Hire a professional. Some people think it’s a big step to call in a professional, while they can help you well. After all, professionals know well how the brain works and can therefore help you with yours.
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Source: Kelly Heuts
June 23, 2023
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