Therapist Shares List of Things Parents Should Stop Doing to Prevent Emotional Wounds
In a bid to prevent emotional wounds in children, therapist Morgan Pommelis has shared a list of things that parents should stop doing. Pommelis, a childhood trauma therapist from Ontario, Canada, took to Instagram to share helpful tips for parents while raising their children.
“Parenting is stressful and no one expects parents to do it perfectly. Children don’t even need perfect parenting—they just need ‘safe parenting,'” Pommelis pointed out. In her Instagram post, Pommelis shared 12 things that parents should stop doing to save their children from childhood trauma that can impact them well into adulthood.
The first item on the list is yelling at children as soon as parents get home from work. Pommelis emphasizes that using emotional warfare to punish children, such as giving them the silent treatment when upset, can cause harm to their nervous systems. She also advises against waking children up using loud or aggressive noises.
Pommelis further explains that children who experience deep emotional trauma from their parents often seek therapy as adults to work through their upbringing. Treating siblings differently and refusing to apologize are just a few examples of behaviors that can leave emotional scars on children.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, childhood trauma is fairly common, with more than two-thirds of children reporting at least one traumatic event by age 16. Pommelis wants children to understand that they are not alone or unworthy because of their experiences. She insists that they deserved better.
Pommelis urges parents to prioritize their children’s safety, emphasizing that children should not have to be responsible for their parents’ feelings. Expecting the whole household to tip-toe around when a parent is in a bad mood or failing to protect children from another parent’s harmful behavior are examples of how parents can fail to prioritize their children’s safety.
Treating children unfairly, seeing them as extensions of themselves, and expecting gratitude for basic care are additional behaviors parents should avoid. These tactics can lead to resentment and low self-esteem in children.
Pommelis acknowledges that parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and most mistakes are made subconsciously. However, she emphasizes that striving for better is crucial to breaking the cycle of childhood trauma and ensuring a healthy transition into adulthood.
Parents play a critical role in providing a safe and nurturing environment for their children, which helps minimize the risk of childhood trauma. By creating a loving and secure environment, children are more likely to develop positive self-esteem, navigate social relationships, handle peer pressure, and build a positive self-image.
While it is impossible to shield children from all potential sources of trauma, actively working to break the cycle of childhood trauma can significantly reduce the risk and mitigate its impact on children’s lives.
Nia Tipton