Weddings in Asia: The Customs and Etiquette of Giving Cash Gifts
Weddings are a joyous occasion that often involve the exchange of gifts. While many cultures have wedding registries or gift lists to make the process easier, traditions around gift-giving can vary greatly. In Asia, it is customary to congratulate marrying couples with cash gifts instead of items from a registry. This tradition, known as chug-ui-geum in Korea, has deep roots and has evolved into a complex system of social norms and etiquette.
In South Korea, guests present envelopes of cash, discreetly stating the amount within, to an appointed friend or family member upon arriving at the reception. In return, they are given a meal ticket that grants them entrance to the wedding banquet. Guests who are unable to attend have the option to wire money to the newlyweds’ bank account, which is written on the invitation. This cash giving custom allows the couple to offset the costs of their wedding and even potentially make a surplus.
While it has become increasingly popular in the United States for couples to ask for cash as wedding gifts, it is still rare for American couples to have a cash-only registry. According to Emily Forrest, director of communications for wedding registry website Zola, American couples typically still prefer physical gifts or have a mix of both cash and tangible items on their registry.
Cultural differences in gift-giving are evident when comparing various Asian countries. Nobu Nakaguchi, a co-founder at Zola, experienced this firsthand when he got married in 2005. He had a Roman Catholic wedding in the United States and a Buddhist wedding in Japan. Nakaguchi noted that it was fascinating to receive cash gifts at his Japanese wedding, as many Americans view giving cash as socially awkward or inappropriate. Asian cultures, on the other hand, have a strong tradition of giving cash at weddings.
Discussing expectations about money is considered a cultural taboo in Asian countries, which is why etiquette dictates that money be presented in envelopes. Lee Eun-hee, a consumer science professor at Inha University in South Korea, explained that while money gifts are expected and desired, the culture forbids explicitly stating how much is expected. This dichotomy has led to a rich conversation about the etiquette of giving cash at weddings in Asia.
There are several unwritten rules that govern the giving of cash at Asian weddings. The amount given is often determined by factors such as the relationship between the giver and the couple, beliefs about auspicious numbers, and the social situation. In Japan, for example, it is generally understood that a younger adult or college student should give around 10,000 yen ($70), while workplace superiors and older relatives are expected to give more.
Parents also play a significant role in Asian weddings, as they often arrange the event and make financial decisions. They may determine how much of the congratulatory money the couple gets to keep. In Korean weddings, the parent is referred to as the hon-ju, or owner of the wedding, highlighting their influence over the festivities.
Gift money is meant to be discreet and is never physically shown. Instead, special envelopes are used for presenting cash gifts. In South Korea, only crisp, new bills are used, and the envelope is typically white with the giver’s name written vertically on it. In Japan, the envelope, known as shugi-bukuro, is traditionally red and white but can now be found in a variety of colors. Chinese cultures use the famous red envelope, or hong-bao, for giving cash.
Despite the rich customs and traditions surrounding cash gifts at Asian weddings, the system has also been susceptible to abuse. Governments in Asia have tried to regulate cash gifts to prevent bribery and corruption. In South Korea, an anti-graft law limits the amount of cash gifts that can be given at weddings. However, enforcing this law has proven to be challenging.
Ultimately, the gift-giving system at Asian weddings goes beyond monetary exchange. It is a way to establish and strengthen bonds between individuals. Mengqi Wang, an assistant professor of anthropology, explains that giving a gift at a wedding is a way to cement relationships and exchange credit and debt.
While the customs and etiquette of giving cash at weddings may vary from region to region, one thing remains clear: weddings in Asia are an opportunity not only for couples to celebrate their love, but also for gift-givers to express their affection and support through the thoughtful exchange of cash gifts.