2023-09-18 19:01:33
They felt very alone in the face of the ordeal their son was going through. The parents of Nicolas, who committed suicide at the start of the school year after complaining of harassment, broke their silence this weekend. They revealed a letter that they had received from the Versailles rectorate after alerting them to what their son was going through. This letter showed a lack of empathy towards the family, and was even described as a “shame” by Gabriel Attal.
A case which resonates with what certain families are experiencing, even though members of National Education believe they are doing their best to manage these delicate situations. And that the fight against school bullying has intensified in recent years after several tragedies. At the start of the school year, the PHARe anti-harassment prevention program, already in place in schools and colleges, was generalized to high schools. And a new interministerial plan will be unveiled next Monday.
“The CPE offered my son mediation with the harassers”
But it is clear that some families still feel insufficiently supported when their child is the target of harassers. This is the case of Marie, whose son Gabriel suffered homophobic mockery for several months from two 3rd grade students: “It was sentences like “You wore good makeup today”. followed by laughter from the whole class. He spoke about it to a teacher and a CPE, who minimized the facts. » Gabriel ends up warning his parents, who wrote to the principal. The latter responds summarily, promising an investigation. As the teasing continued, Marie called to ask for a meeting with the principal: “His secretary told me that he was traveling even though my son had seen him that same day in the corridors. »
After insisting, Marie was finally received with her son by the CPE: “He offered my son mediation with the harassers, as if it were a conflict between comrades. As if there were no victims, as if it was a non-event. He also asked my son to write his testimony. Gabriel experienced it as a questioning of his word. And I refused to let him do it. » From March to the end of June, Marie no longer receives information on the subject. “I don’t know if the students were punished, but it seems not. Which is a shame, because in this school, it only takes three late arrivals to be stuck,” she says offended.
“I was told these were classic arguments”
In certain establishments, informing parents seems to be a weak link in the fight against harassment. The field investigation to shed light on the facts often lasts a long time and management teams do not necessarily keep parents informed of the decisions they make regarding harassers. Hence the feeling that the culprits are insufficiently punished or that the matter has been buried.
Marianne, whose son was harassed and cyberharassed, experienced it: “We filed a complaint several times, contacted 30.20 and reported it to the rectorate. I was told these were classic arguments. Nobody moved. Except the CPE, who received the parents when I denounced the facts and copied all the teachers and college teams on Pronote. A new CPE, who arrived at the start of the school year, summoned the leader of the group of harassers to warn her. But the children, who were physically and verbally violent, received no sanction from the school. »
The principal told us: “He must look for it”
Laëtitia, too, experienced this feeling of anger when she noticed that her son was regularly hit at school. “I spoke about it I don’t know how many times with his teacher, who said she hadn’t noticed anything, even when he came back bleeding… I ended up being summoned by the school psychologist, who told me that my son was depressed. » And like Nicolas’s parents, she had trouble with the administration: “I ended up appealing to the rectorate, I got the response: ‘Madam, we contacted the school director, and it turns out you’re the problem, because there’s never been any violence in the school.” »
Bruno also testifies to this questioning of the victim’s words. He became concerned when his son’s grades dropped in 5th grade and his behavior changed. “After discussion, we learned that being a redhead, having good grades in 6th grade and having skipped a grade was synonymous with teasing. The principal told us, “He has to look for it.” When we alerted the rectorate, the response was scathing: it was our fault and the management team had done their job correctly. Fortunately the assistant principal always looked out for our son. This limited the harassment without ever stopping. »
“I finally changed my daughter’s school”
It is not uncommon for parents to feel so helpless that they end up exfiltrating their child from the establishment in question. This is what Louison, whose son was verbally and physically harassed in 6th and 5th grade, did. “He wasn’t sleeping anymore, didn’t want to leave our house and was very, very aggressive. The college did nothing. For example, when I told them about the incitements to suicide he was receiving, I was told: “These are just the words of children.” » A waiver and a change of college were necessary for him to get better. “But a year and a half later, he remains deeply scarred. »
Laetitia also says she had to move to end her son’s suffering. “He never had any problems at school again. He is now in second grade, everything is going well for him,” she breathes. Anne also had to have her daughter Sarah change schools, right in the middle of the CM2 year. Because the little girl suffered repeated attacks from a boy. “He was pushing her while she was running and she was falling. He pinched her, strangled her by grabbing her scarf. I of course alerted the establishment several times, who told me that the boy was turbulent, but not mean. Several times, the head of the establishment replied to me that it was during the lunch break, therefore not her responsibility. I finally changed my daughter’s school, because she was really scared all the time. » A situation which should no longer take place, Gabriel Attal having issued a decree at the end of August authorizing the rectorates to change establishment harassers.
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