2023-09-26 20:28:10
EDITED – For many French people, especially those who have suffered the most since his election, is it not rather with a “I have you cons taken” that we can best summarize the speech given on Sunday evening by Emmanuel Macron? In the middle of Yom Kippur, moreover, without us being able to guarantee that these French people will one day grant him their forgiveness.
However, having vowed to no longer participate in “Macron bashing”, I will try, if not to find something positive in what he said the day before yesterday, at least to extract something funny from it.
“Reverse sarcastic analysis being one of the seven basic humorous springs, try here, sailor, to stretch it hard enough to successfully officiate in this enterprise ad hoc.” At your orders, my captain! (1)
Our good King Emmanuel I is not responsible for any of the problems that France and the French have encountered over the past six years. For the most part, these problems existed even before he was appointed Minister of Economy and Finance by François Hollande, therefore well before his arrival at the Élysée.
Moreover, by these so-called problems, he is not affected in any way. Except perhaps by the end of abundance. Like this dinner for 2.65 million euros (plus the cost of security) offered at our expense in honor of King Charles III. Here he is brought back to the frugality (so) dear to his Palace: daily food costs would be limited to a thousand euros per day.
Also, is inflation really a problem? The higher the prices, the greater the VAT revenue, and the more money there is normally in the state coffers. How this money is used is not his problem: it is that of the government and its Prime Minister.
The President of the Republic is the guarantor of the Constitution. And that poses a problem for him.
Indeed, who knows why, but the Constitution prohibits Emmanuel I from exercising more than two mandates in a row. What bullshit ! Our good king will be prevented from reigning after 2027. Whose fault is it? To the French ! Because this ban came not by referendum, but by a vote of Parliament, and in fact in the name of the French. So any problems we encounter are our fault!
The project that the President has to save France is of such dimensions that he has had to undertake gigantic projects. However, carrying out such projects requires a significant amount of time. And if he could run for a third term in a row… Alas, no.
“You poor bastards!” belches a very angry Jean Gabin in The Crossing of Paris. Shame on those who think that the President had something to do with the French crossing the desert…
Sincerely, my dear compatriots, we do not deserve to have such an intelligent man at the head of our country. He has the solution to everything and we don’t understand anything.
Take for example the – hot – topic of ecology. It doesn’t matter if he travels by plane, it’s us who don’t want to save the planet.
We are idiots, what do you want! Me first, moreover, who refuses to understand the obligation for the less well off in this world to take out a lease of 300 euros per month for ten years for an electric Twingo without option which will have to be recharged every hundred kilometers and which furthermore will not belong to us at the end of the leasing. Is this the only solution to be able to remedy the fact that the 5,000 super cargo ships without which our elites and leaders could not obtain Iranian caviar, Madagascar lobsters or Chinese foie gras, alone pollute ten times more? than all the gasoline or diesel cars in the world.
The same goes for the 10,000 euro heat pumps with which we will have to replace, at our own expense, our old pumps which work very well.
Shame on us, assassins of the planet which is dying because of our stinginess. What is this, 10,000 euros per household to prevent the end of the world?
As for you who don’t have the means to comply with these obligations, do some sport: it warms you up. Or better, do like our Chinese comrades: pedal for an hour every day on a bike that powers a battery whose electricity thus generated is offered to the government. It’s true, what! Whatever governments do for us, we are never happy. What ingratitude!
If over the last forty years, none of the governments has been able to provide solutions to the people’s problems, it is simply because the people are the problem. And rather than changing the government once again, isn’t it better to change the people?
(1) Thomas Nenninger tried it brilliantly on X yesterday morning before me:
Summary of the presidential address:
I’m not responsible for anything, it’s everyone else. You’re going to hurt your mothers with inflation, and I don’t care. I’m going to gather people around a table and say it’s their fault.On the essence, I need to continue…
— Dr Thomas NΞNNINGΞR (@T_Nenninger) September 24, 2023
I was very slightly inspired by it. I hope he won’t be too angry with me for doing it without warning him beforehand.
#French #understand