2023-10-05 18:00:15
Trying to convince a person who doesn’t want to see reason can be a tiring activity. Next, we will learn some strategies to deal with stubborn people. Keep reading!
Last update: October 5, 2023
Everyone has a way of being and In life we can find a lot of diversity in terms of personality.. But we owe them all respect. Therefore, it is important to learn how to deal with stubborn people.
This is what they say to those who find it difficult to give in or give in and They persevere in actions or opinions that do not always seem reasonable. Next, we will learn what the characteristics of a stubborn person are and how to treat them, without getting into conflicts.
What does it mean to be stubborn? And its disadvantages
According to its etymology, the word stubborn comes from text (originally clay pot), later derived into testa (head in Italian); and of raw (which is rough, crude, unworked).
In everyday language, The terms stubborn and stubborn are used interchangeably. to refer to people who are rigid about their opinions, showing little flexibility to accept a different view.
Therefore, once they have made a decision or taken a position on something, It’s very difficult to change their minds.since they reject all kinds of arguments or reasons presented to them.
Now keep This type of stubborn attitude can have various consequences, which are not always beneficial. Among the main disadvantages of being stubborn we have:
Having conflictive relationships Suffering rejection and social isolation Arguing frequently with other people Experiencing frustration and often anger, due to such failures Difficulty in being understood and, at the same time, in understanding others Carrying out actions that result in failures, preventing one from achieving goals. goals
17 characteristics of a stubborn person
To finish rounding off this definition of stubborn people, let’s see what the characteristics that identify them may be.
1. They don’t listen to reason
Stubborn people They do not accept reasons that go against their opinions or beliefs; even if they are presented with valid arguments, even supported by scientific evidence.
2. Selective information
And for the same reason, stubborn people They will only value as positive those ideas that reinforce their convictions, discarding information that may contradict or conflict with your worldview. For this reason, they will not listen to opinions, nor see information channels, that are contrary to their thoughts.
3. Tendency towards Manichaeism
In his vision there is only the correct position (his own) and the wrong ones (all the others). This way, The world is reduced to a question of black and white, “you are with me or you are against me”; without the possibility of nuances or intermediate points. This is known as Manichaeism, and it is derived from those people who tend to classify things as good or bad, without half measures.
4. Little flexibility
And if the agreements mean that they have to give up a little on their idea, then there will be no deal possible. It is all or nothingsince it is difficult to force them to leave the area where they feel safe and make them explore other possibilities.
5. They argue and fight often
They find it difficult to tolerate any opinion that goes against their beliefs, feeling that it is a personal question. They then tend to come into conflict with others, even though such discussions are not intended to try to reach any kind of agreement.
6. They have less assertive styles
In their arguments, they use resources that are not focused on refuting the idea, but rather, for example, disqualify the person they are speaking to. This is because they feel attacked when they question their approaches. Likewise, may respond and act defensively, even before being questioned. In the worst cases, they resort to insults.
7. They are always right
In any discussion or controversy, They are not going to try to understand the other, nor are they very interested in listening to them.. They are simply right, period.
8. Unsuccessful efforts
Although they can be very persistent, They can also focus their energy blindly, traveling down dead ends.just like the fly does that wants to get out of the closed window.
9. Resistance to change
Another characteristic of stubborn people is that show resistance or fear of change. Therefore, his routines are rigorous, with fixed habits. And although they do not express it openly, they feel threatened when someone tries to suggest some modification.
10. They put a “but” to everything
As part of this dynamic, they will object to any recommendation. It is not strange that many of their answers begin with “no, but.”before stopping to consider whether it might be a good idea.
11. Pride above all
Sometimes they may know they are wrong, but they won’t admit it; because it would be, from their point of view, being inferior to the other person, thereby hurting their pride. In that sense, They are not very likely to say sorry or apologize for something.since that would affect their image of being infallible.
12. Judge and prejudge
With a few notions they can build a vision of a situation; and in addition to believing that their explanations are infallible, they often judge others from there. Likewise, they tend to be prejudiced and make generalizations.
13. Tortuous learning
They tend to be reluctant to learn something new or do it in a different way from what they know. “I like it this way,” “I’ve always done it this way and it has worked for me,” are some of his usual phrases. However, if they have no choice, they will try, but complaining and murmuring under their breath.
14. They feel insecure
Despite everything, they feel unsure of themselves, which is why They cover themselves with a shell that makes them feel less vulnerable and safe from anything that could affect the idea of reality they have constructed.
15. Restricted circle
In this regard, another characteristic of the stubborn person is surrounding himself with those who think the same. This reduces the chances of entering into conflict with different ideas. In more extreme cases, some They prefer to live like hermits, closing themselves off from the world.
16. Severe judges
They tend to be inflexible with respect to certain ideas or attitudes, and judge people and actions rigorously; situation that They not only apply to others, but to themselves.
17. An ideal world
Their worldview is built from an idealization or abstraction, which does not correspond to reality. When contrasted with this, arise constant complaining about what is not how they think it should be.
How to deal with a stubborn person?
In our daily dealings with others, we must communicate and act assertively. But, in certain cases, you have to be even more so. Let’s look at some recommendations regarding how to deal with a stubborn person.
emotional management
Sometime, It is possible that when arguing with a stubborn person we lose our temper. The first suggestion is to stay calm and not enter into combat, resorting to shouting or insulting.
Do not disqualify
Although some opinions or behaviors may seem crazy, there is no reason to be disqualified or mocked. Nor is it convenient to emphasize to them how stubborn they are.. All of this, far from helping to cope with the problems, what it will do is exacerbate them, creating discomfort and resentment.
Know how to listen
You have to listen to them to try to understand how reasonable what they propose is. He must be made to see that we value what he sayshighlighting the positive elements, before showing them that there is another possible perspective.
Learn to talk to him
One must proceed with delicacy when it comes to proposing an idea that contradicts what the stubborn person thinks, so that they do not perceive it as an attack, because then they will assume a defensive posture and close themselves off from listening.
It is advisable to begin our argument using expressions such as: “what you say is very interesting.” Even, It is good to make them see or believe that part of the new idea is theirs.that is, it is inspired by something he exposed.
The object of the discussion
We should not argue with the intention of showing the person that is wrong, Well, the north must aim to find an intermediate point of conciliation, demonstrating the benefits that adopting the idea that is being presented can bring.
Be patient
We cannot expect a stubborn person to change their ideas and actions immediately or just because we tell them they should. After expressing what we think, we must give them time to weigh the situationsupplement the explanation if necessary, and wait.
Gradual changes
When it comes to making home improvements, for example, a stubborn person will say their well-known phrases: why, no need, it’s fine that way. So, the changes must be introduced in a very gradual and gradual way, without being so drastic.
Choose discussions
Knowing how to deal with a stubborn person also involves choosing what should be discussed and what should not. That is to say, we cannot file a constant complaint for anythingsince this is very exhausting for both parties.
Be empathetic and respectful
The need to surround oneself with a framework of security is common to all. We must understand that they also have reasons to think as they do or believe what they consider best. In any case, everyone is free to live according to their ideas and we must always respect this.
Be flexible and know how to give in
Finally, we should not assume the same intransigent attitude that we criticize. It is also necessary that at certain times we be flexible and accept the other’s point of view, even if it is difficult for us to understand it.
The subtle difference
Perhaps the most complicated part about how to deal with a stubborn person is knowing how to recognize when you are dealing with someone who is persistent. This is not always clear. There is a very fine line between stubbornness and perseverance..
In the past, there are many cases of geniuses who appeared stubborn to others. Thomas Alva Edison would be an emblematic example, since he made a thousand tests for a light bulb, until he got it. Anyone would have given up; But his efforts were well worth it.
So before judging or disqualifying a person we consider stubborn, We must evaluate if your energy is focusing on positive purposes.. And then we should rather support it.
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