2024-01-05 14:18:10
Social media has made celebrity breakups a part of our daily lives. Instead of issuing official press releases, as was the norm, celebrities now prefer to announce their divorces through their social media posts, without the need for third parties.
So, between our friends’ posts and memes, our social media pages are also filled with news of famous couples breaking up, which in turn reinforces our parasitic relationships with our favorite celebrities and makes us we feel that we are somewhat closer to them…
“And that’s exactly why, when we learn they broke up and hid the news for some time, we feel not only surprised, but in a way, even betrayed,” writes user X commenting on some relatively recent celebrity breakups.
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Meryl and Jada
Although more and more celebrities seem to be opting for breakups that could very well have been orchestrated by Gwyneth Paltrow, when she split from Chris Martin in March 2014 after ten years of marriage, they communicated it with texts informing about separation but which read more like love letters full of love, respect and empathy, now, suddenly, we are witnessing the phenomenon of silent separations. We’re talking about breakups that happened a long time ago and the news of which sounds like something given and known – like an extinguished fire.
The first case that comes to mind is that of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, who were separated for seven years without us having a clue. However, shortly after the Pinkett Smith news broke, we discovered that Meryl Streep and Don Goomer had divorced six years ago. In the world of information overload and lack of privacy, these secrets come as a surprise, while also raising the question of whether it’s healthier to prioritize self-care over rushing to announce a breakup.
What if a silent divorce is the best way to heal?
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When secrecy and silence become the new luxury
The truth is, in Hollywood, secret divorces are not that rare thanks to private judges who have taken advantage of well-known personalities like Elon Musk and Chris Pratt. Popular private judge Jill Robbins, who oversaw Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s divorce, explained to The Cut that contrary to what we might think, in fact most of those who hire her are not celebrities, but dentists. doctors, insurance company executives, lawyers… Quiet separation is not exclusive to celebrities. People crave privacy as much as any A-lister. In a world where secrets are few and far between, enjoying secrecy and silence automatically speaks of a new luxury.
“The great thing about this is that it avoids having to listen to other people’s opinions on a subject of our own. Everyone believes that they have the right to express their opinion and their views even if they contradict the professionals (lawyers or psychologists) creating a huge mental mess that can even cause disagreements with our partner… Friends and relatives , with all their good intentions, do not know our specific situation and can do more harm than help” says Nieves Aparicio, director and founder of Válory, a company specializing in divorce for women with children.
“We almost feel compelled to keep everyone in the know about our relationship because if we post pictures together and stop at some point, they’ll think we’ve broken up.”
Let’s turn the noise down
Having some time to support our ideas, manage grief, and even look for a new home makes it easier for us to process the emotions that arise after a breakup. Often, after a breakup or divorce, we are forced to listen to comments and questions from friends and family, which make an already complicated situation even more tiresome. When society suffers from noise, silence, at least in emotional matters, can help.
At the same time, we’re used to the fact that celebrities and those around us have turned social media into a megaphone for their private lives, so we often feel obligated to let everyone know where we stand in our relationships—socially, professionally, emotionally.
“We feel almost obligated to keep everyone in the loop about our relationship because if we post pictures together and stop at some point, they’ll think we’ve broken up. In fact, this is how, in many cases, we learn about celebrity breakups, because they stop following each other on social networks, delete joint photos, etc. It is also common to see that one partner pressures the other to post photos or videos showing them as a couple, as it is common for some people to interpret the absence of photos with a boyfriend or girlfriend as loneliness. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. We have the right not to want to keep someone aware of our private lives,” explains Elizabeth Clapés, author of Perderte para encontrarme: Supera una ruptura y vuelve a enamorarte de ti (Losing You to Find Myself: Overcoming a Breakup and fall in love again).
“The noise will never go away. But we can. For the sake of our physical health and psychological well-being, let us be silent”
The power of a closed mouth
We must not forget that culture, ethnicity, social norms and expectations can also play a role in keeping the separation secret. “Depending on how divorce or separation is understood in the person’s environment, he or she will or will not say if and when they divorced. Let’s remember that there are religions in which divorce is not allowed and is even punished,” says the psychologist.
Silent breakups catch our attention because they are completely opposite to the emotional, showy way of communication that now dominates social networks, where everyone often issues official announcements about the status of their relationships and breakups as if they were themselves. celebrities.
As Dan Lyons says in his book STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World, “the noise will never go away. But we can. For the sake of our physical health and psychological well-being, let’s keep quiet.” In a world that encourages us to talk more, shutting up can be the ultimate act of self-care and rebellion.
*With data from elpais.com
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