Mariska Hargitay, known for her role as Detective Olivia Benson on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, has bravely shared her own personal story of sexual violence in a recent essay published in People magazine. In the essay, Hargitay revealed that she was raped in her 30s by a man she considered to be a friend.
“It wasn’t sexual at all. It was dominance and control. Overpowering control,” she wrote. “He was a friend. Then he wasn’t. I tried all the ways I knew to get out of it. I tried to make jokes, to be charming, to set a boundary, to reason, to say no. He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified.”
She also shared that she initially tried to push the assault to the back of her mind in order to “get through” the trauma. She even told her husband that “it wasn’t rape” because she knew the assailant. However, as she began talking about it more with those closest to her, she began to come to terms with what had happened to her.
Hargitay’s portrayal of a detective on a show that focuses on helping victims of sexual and domestic violence heal their trauma has been an important part of her healing. She also founded the Joyful Heart foundation, which helps victims of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse. Through this work, she has found healing and a new understanding of her own experience.
She ended her essay by saying, “This is a painful part of my story. The experience was horrible. But it doesn’t come close to defining me, in the same way that no other single part of my story defines me. No single part of anyone’s story defines them.” Hargitay’s courage in sharing her story serves as a reminder that no one is defined by their trauma and that healing is possible.