2024-01-17 02:44:24
(New York Jewish Week) – When Michael Vitex arrived at his bar mitzvah party, he knew he couldn’t enter a musical theater song, his favorite genre, because he had already been bullied for being too feminine and flamboyant. So, he simply told the DJ to simply pick any song that matched the atmosphere of entering a Bar Mitzvah.
The DJ chose “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross.
“This day that should be completely festive turned into this kind of tragic camp event where I had to fight bullying because of it,” Vitex said. “I was just trying to be a man, an adult Jew, and then suddenly I left my Bar Mitzvah.”
18 years later, Vitex, 31, is a professional drag queen in New York City, performing as “Pink Pancake.” This week he will revisit that disturbing coming-of-age moment in his first one-woman drag show, “Today You Are a Man” at the New York Tank.
“I’m taking this moment of tragedy and flipping it on its head and turning it into this play about self-discovery and coming to your authenticity as a queer person and as a Jew,” Vitex told New York Jewish Week.
Vitex first began developing the 80-minute show two years ago as a four-minute lipsync to a Hanukkah in July drag performance. Since then, he’s been collaborating with director and queer Jewish arts and events curator Stuart Myers to come up with a full-length performance.
“The show gives a serious account of the horror of that experience, how horrible it was, and having to bully him for being gay and a femme, but also uplifting and celebrating the story of who Michael became through drag,” Myers said. The Jewish week in New York. “So what’s really interesting is that the piece is about his Bar Mitzvah from the past, but by and large, it’s also a Bar Mitzvah in itself, because it’s a celebration of his very Jewish process of entering this next chapter. As a pink pancake.”
Ahead of the show, New York Jewish Week caught up with Vitex about what it was like to do the show and revisit his Bar Mitzvah experience.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
What would you tell your 13-year-old self about how far you’ve come?
It’s funny because I think if I told my 13-year-old self, “Hey, you’re now a drag queen in New York, and you’re making a living pursuing this queer art form,” I think my 13-year-old self would be horrified. That could be my biggest fear at the time, I realized.
Michael Vitex at his Bar Mitzvah ceremony and party, where the DJ traumatized him by playing “I’m Coming Out” for his entrance song. (Courtesy of Michael Vitex)
First, I would give my 13-year-old self a huge hug. I think I would say, “You’re wonderful the way you are and just let your inner star shine. At the time, I did everything I could to shrink myself and try to hide the fact that I’m gay, even though I was naturally more feminine and flamboyant growing up. I did everything I could to hide the That, with my clothes, with the way I walked around. It was all a show. I’d just say, “Hey, baby, breath, let it all out. Will be fine. Own who you are.”
What does it mean to you that your first full-length one-woman show is a Jewish narrative?
I grew up in a nice Jewish suburb of Philadelphia, on the main line. I want to grow up, I’ve kind of taken my Judaism for granted. In the 7th grade there was a bar or bat mitzvah every weekend. Judaism was so common that it wasn’t a huge part of my identity.
But now we are in a time when there is an increase in antisemitism and you can feel it. In my other shows, I made some abusive jokes on the microphone about being Jewish – as Jews do with Jewish humor. Before it was just part of my act, but now I have this inner voice in the back of my head that says “Is it safe to say this? Is it safe to make these jokes? Is it safe to be openly Jewish?” Since coming out and fully embracing myself, I’m really proud to be queer. Now I feel that the program helps me to be more proudly Jewish. It was wonderful to work with Stuart Myers, who has done a lot of queer Jewish work and queer Jewish art, because he kind of pushed me to embrace my Jewishness even more and pull things out in the show in relation to my Jewish identity even more, so that was really exciting. We must continue to be open and proud and continue to advocate for ourselves and for everyone who is pushed to the margins in the majority of the world.
Do you feel like doing this show helped you process the trauma of your bar mitzvah party and gave you a second chance to celebrate?
It’s the structure of the show in a way, where I have a chance to do it again. It’s strange about this Jewish rite of passage. The whole performance, in a way, is like a reenactment of my Bar Mitzvah, but now I’m in drag as a woman – but I’m not a woman, and I’m also very gendered. It’s a beautiful way to explore what it means to be a man and explore your gender identity and sexuality.
It definitely helped me process my bar mitzvah and recapture that moment that was quite tragic. In general, my Bar Mitzvah was a wonderful event – this moment just overshadowed it. I think wounds can keep healing and come back and they can surprise you like, “Oh, I thought I was over it.” So revisiting this moment definitely brought some things to the surface that I am now able to heal from.
I re-watched the video of my service many, many times while preparing the plan. I had a wonderful support system in my parents, but I don’t think I fully understood it because I felt so alone and different at school. So it’s really healing to be able to look back and listen to the speeches my parents gave at my Bar Mitzvah. When I watch myself in the video, I look awkward and I don’t like my parents saying nice things about me and I probably don’t fully pay attention and disconnect because it’s uncomfortable. But looking back now – my parents are so sweet. My dad said he appreciates how sensitive I am and how gentle I am. These are things that I was bullied for, because they are not “masculine”. But at my Bar Mitzvah, he said you are a man because of all these things. It’s just so beautiful.
I’m excited to bring it to the public. I’m sure the healing will happen even more when it’s in front of a live audience and I hope the same will happen to them too. I hope that bringing the specificity of this event to my performance will allow people to bring the specificity of their own moments growing up Jewish or growing up queer and find healing and celebration.
Why else can people watch the show?
There will be too many costumes in a short time. I’m really excited about all these crazy costumes I’m bringing. It’s going to be heartfelt, it’s going to be drag. It’s a full production and I’m so excited to finally bring it to life after sitting on it for all this time. It combines lip-sync drag with multimedia – video projections of my Bar Mitzvah and many other very fun and funny things. Of course, I have two backup dancers – it’s a one-woman show, but it’s a one-woman drag show, so that means you need to have two backup dancers. It’s a fully realized show with a plot and a beginning, middle and end.
“Today You Are a Man,” plays at The Tank NYC (312 W. 36th St.) Jan. 18-20 at 9:30 pm and Jan. 21 at 7 pm Tickets start at $15.
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