“It is possible to break and learn to live with gambling addiction,” says Niclas Aronsson, therapist and former gambling addict.
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Niclas Aronsson, in his role as an addiction therapist, keeps in touch with his clients digitally for a few days, because he went to Stockholm to attend the trial where Per Holknekt sued the betting company Unibet for ten million kroner.
– Of course you have a responsibility as an individual, but it is frustrating to hear how gambling companies blame themselves and claim that they cannot know who has an addiction and not when there are such clear signals, says Niclas.
He continues:
– It is cynical that the gaming giants direct advertising and offers towards the people who they understand of course have problematic gambling.
Many years ago, Niclas himself was the subject of investigations – for Blocket fraud he committed to finance his gambling addiction.
– I was 23 years old and had sold things I didn’t have. In the moment, you are so sick that you tell yourself that you should just borrow the money from the other party for a few days and then claim that the item is broken and pay back with the profits you will make on the game, explains Niclas.
Niclas has worked hard to increase his self-esteem.
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Wanted to be the best at games too
In his case, it started in his teens with poker games at home with his friends. He noticed that he had a certain aptitude for counting and keeping track and continued to play online.
– It wasn’t that I felt bad and therefore escaped into an addiction, but rather that I was always told that I was smart and that I, who was team captain in a lot of sports and had it easy at school, wanted be high performing and the best at this too.
So you can get help if you have a gambling addiction
• If you are addicted to gambling, you have lost control over your gambling. Gambling affects your relationships, your finances, your work and you can’t stop playing.
• At www.stodlinjen.se, you can take an anonymous test if you have a gambling addiction or are at risk of developing it.
• You can also contact the Helpline on 020 – 81 91 00 regardless of where you live in the country. You can be anonymous and it costs nothing.
• To get help, you can also contact a care centre, an addiction clinic, the social services in your municipality or the occupational health care at your workplace.
• Game break: Here you turn off games that require registration.
Source: Care guide 1177
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But gambling is based on losing more than you win, and Niclas quickly became in debt. It affected his self-esteem and he was ashamed. He didn’t want to appear like a loser, so he gambled even more, hoping to win back the money – and preferably make big profits to solve his whole situation.
– I had to lie about being sick when the group of friends were going to a concert or football trip, because I could have wasted the money I saved on the same night as we were going to leave, says Niclas, who also told his story in Göteborgs-Posten, among others .
He always worked a lot, including at the ambulance, and was a coach for an elite level floorball team.
– Playing became a bad blanket in the stress.
Today, Niclas Aronsson lectures on gambling addiction and is a trained therapist.
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Crashed several times
Niclas played 15-16 hours a day, always had some game running on his mobile phone in his pocket during the few hours when he slept or was on call and slavishly followed and bet even on sports such as cricket and Thai basketball, which he sometimes didn’t even know the rules of around.
During the ten years that the addiction was at its worst, he gambled away large sums and he had five major crashes. The first came in my 20s. Nicla’s mother thought they should turn to social services, but the only thing they could offer there was ten support calls with a therapist.
After the crashes, Niclas worked like a ferret to pay off the debts and he used to stay gambling-free for a year or so.
In 2016, when Niclas had once again been found to have gambled and lied, he went so far as to write a farewell SMS to the family: “See you in heaven and take care of each other! And sorry!”, the message read as Niclas drove into the forest to end it all. For 2.5 days, he sat in the car and “crying like crazy” in agony, before he decided, exhausted, to go home. In the apartment he was met by his mother, who was furious and who at the time had the idea that the only thing to do was stop the game and did not see that it was an illness.
Six months later, Niclas ended up there again. He had met a girl, they renovated a house together and Niclas told himself that he probably had enough character to be able to play in a healthy way.
– Of course I couldn’t. My partner at the time found all the debt collection letters I had hidden in a closet and I didn’t manage to trick her away.
This picture is from 2017 when Niclas was at his worst and had crashed.
Photo: Private
At the treatment home “Game over”, Niclas was forced to confront his addiction.
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Learned to deal with emotions
Niclas had a panic attack, but was sent home from the psychiatric ward because he was not assessed as suicidal. The parents paid for an eight-week treatment that the family failed to get social services to pay for.
– There I learned to talk about feelings, realize that it is dangerous to think that you ever have control when it comes to gambling and face my relatives’ reactions to how my gambling had affected them.
Now Niclas has been gambling-free for six years and now works as a trained therapist lecturing on and supporting others with gambling addiction.
– It means a lot that we break the stigma, get people to seek help and talk more about mental health.
Today, Niclas is the father of a four-year-old daughter and has paid off most of the debts.
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Nicklas wants to see much tougher rules for and accountability on the part of gambling companies.
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Nicla’s eight pieces of advice for you who have problematic gambling:
Dare to tell! If you don’t dare to tell your loved ones directly, try sending a text message or whatever makes you tell. You don’t solve problems alone, you need both private and professional support to get ahead!
Be 100 percent honest.
Continued play is never the solution if a dependency has developed.
Blaming yourself won’t help, but you certainly have to take responsibility and work hard to break and deal with the addiction.
For many, participating in discussion groups is valuable.
It can feel like security for your loved ones as well as for you that someone in the family has access to your bank ID and can check your transactions at any time. It can have major consequences if you relapse, because in one week you can lose hundreds of thousands of kroner.
If we who have recovered share our stories in interviews and on social media, the knowledge about addiction increases and the hope that you can get help and hopefully it gives strength to others who have problems.
It is possible to feel much, much better. Access to care varies across the country, not least within primary care, but in some places the care is good.
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