Screenshot © ORF
(Im Studio)
CHOIR OF BUDGET TAX PAYERS:
We are not judges,
we are just payers.
Number one finds bodies,
Number two whores with rich people.
How the two sneak around each other
Rubbing their hands somehow look the same,
that their duet
save us the evening!
WESTENTHALER (voice-over):
compulsory fees, compulsory fees,
just see where they lead!
KURZ: Now let’s sing together
I’m here to defeat you
WOLF: I can only wring my hands
And get copies ready!
KURZ: Your paper is not my paper
Because I only have my paper here.
WOLF: Let’s compare
Instead of arguing like boys.
CHOR:
We now come to the core of the poodle
Outside, the pack’s greed is growing
Wolf, of course you ask at the beginning!
In short, speak so that time and brains run away!
Instead of conquering each other,
Should you sing together at the end!
SHORT & WOLF:
Yes, we already know that
Before the eyes of the nation
It’s about what I think and how it seems
And about mine and yours
Which one longer
What a banger
WOLF: Now freshen up
on the table …
SHORT: The copy of the copy.
And look!
WESTENTHALER (offscreen, a porter who looks like Lothar Lockl prevents him from entering the stage):
You, I am a board member!
PORTER: I haven’t heard anything about it, what a shame!
WESTENTHALER: Are you deaf, you felt castrato?
PORTER: Where is his ID, comrade?
WESTENTHALER: Wait, you’ll soon be granules!
PORTER: Pülcher! Without ID you are private!
WESTENTHALER: Betrayal! Treason!
(growls offscreen)
Open your foundation doors!
No more compulsory fees!
I formulate it straight from my gut!
The whistle is now on democracy!
PORTER (slams the door. Quietly to Westenthaler):
“Don’t make such a noise, you bastard. We’ll leave you alone.”
WOLF: I shared the clear question with you.
KURZ: I prefer to answer in two parts.
WOLF: I’m looking at you through and through here
and just look a Sebastian.
KURZ: I share the question, not the man.
WOLF: You can’t even tell by looking at you!
KURZ: I’ll tell you now what it was about.
WOLF: We had that, the whole thing.
KURZ: But not as I perceived it.
WOLF: For all I care, please speak sparingly.
KURZ: I’ll just say one sentence:
Political judge, and you’re out.
WOLF: Everyone is equal before the law.
KURZ: But not in this Austria.
Never, never before has it gone so long!
I don’t talk back and forth for long,
The verdict was and is not fair.
(Enter Doctor Stocker)
STOCKER:
I am Doctor Stocker
Only the mock knocks me off my feet.
All I can say about suspicion is: it could be…
Here at Kurz, appearances are enough.
Am a Doctor of Justice!
Sobotka? What? Are you kidding?
You, I smell appearances,
any semblance of suspicion;
if I were a stocker without appearances,
this would have been laughed at!
(Studio)
WOLF: I have the minutes here.
KURZ: I have that too, that’s great.
WOLF: The record is full of facts.
KURZ: Don’t say what it’s supposed to say.
WOLF: The copy has just been printed out.
KURZ: But it’s never true, but it’s never true.
Just take a look at mine.
WOLF: Although I would be happy to show you mine.
KURZ: It’s wrong, shall we bet?
WOLF: The mission won’t save you either!
(They tug at the log back and forth)
WOLF + SHORT, together:
Such a protocol is wonderful,
it’s full of facts!
WOLF: But do you know what it’s supposed to mean?
KURZ: I’d be happy to read it to you.
WOLF: You really have a lot of humor!
KURZ: I’ll still read something now.
WOLF: It was wrong, completely wrong.
CHOIR OF THE MEATMEN:
You mean you refute me with facts –
But facts are opinions that we cracked.
What I share with every rich whore:
Every judgment remains just an opinion,
if it is issued by judges,
who unfortunately are self-conscious.
We spin the yarn, we turn the opinion,
are masters of double and triple negatives
By the way, denial is also just an opinion,
Denial and denial, and please look here quickly:
just my opinion, it’s fair!
SHORT: False is true and true is right.
My opinion is important to me.
This judge isn’t judging it right.
And the protocol is void.
The only opinion that matters is that.
Everyone can see that!
WOLF: Whether you believe it or whether you like it,
Almost everything you say is wrong.
I’ll allow you a single sentence,
Batz runs out for five minutes.
You never “graduated” from Cambridge
but you smeared us firmly.
KURZ: If I said it, I’m sorry.
Cambridge is just a bit far…
I congratulate you on your research,
She also seems a little perverse to me.
Please allow me just one thought:
I’ll shake up every fact!
WOLF + SHORT (together):
We hate each other, scoundrels, green and red,
but we are two brothers in the spirit of the quota!
CHOIR OF BUDGET TAX PAYERS:
We are not judges,
we are just payers.
But make us laugh
from us short-scorners.
(Curtain)
It is the best weekly newspaper in the country. The moth. Read it. Support yourself and him with one Subscription.
What we could have learned from the pandemic: Distance can’t hurt, keep your vaccinations up to date, washing your hands is never wrong, use masks when recommended, if you have symptoms, try to avoid contact with others. And stay considerate.