2024-03-16 11:15:10
Asking for a loan shows one’s character
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It must have happened to you that you became disappointed with someone after you were convinced for a long time that you knew them well. Don’t blame yourself for being too trusting. One of the most common mistakes is a man to judge others by himself. Since you cannot be rude or disrespectful, you assume that the same applies to your colleague.
You know this is true more rarely than often, but you always approach new people with an open heart. However, be observant and arrange the received information in a logical connection, psychologists advise. According to them, there are simple and at the same time reliable methods that will help you find out relatively quickly key patterns in behavior of a given person and form a true judgment about him.
See details in routines. In the beginning, they can most easily shed light on the personality and suggest how he will behave in certain situations.
For example, if the new colleague chooses the same meal for lunch every day, he probably does not like change and states of uncertainty. In general, such people are devoted, but it is difficult for them to agree to undertakings without guaranteed success.
A person who always looks carefully both ways when crossing the street is probably prescient. He would consider every detail before making a decision and would only take a well-calculated risk.
These qualities are not bad, you can trust such a person at least until he has to support you in a situation where you have the right, but still you may not win.
Pay attention to how he communicates. This way you will understand the general line of his behavior.
One thing you might expect from a new colleague who tries to get in touch with everyone in the office. Quite another – if he acts selectively, he targets those who seem important to him, and keeps the rest at a distance.
It is especially telling how he treats the office staff. People who think that life is unfair to them and that everyone owes them, have a habit of being dismissive with, for example, the cleaning lady. If you see the new co-worker walk into the building and walk past the doorman without a greeting, don’t trust him. At the very least, he is ill-mannered.
At the other extreme is the attitude towards the boss. It is not difficult to notice the difference between the natural attention with which the novice should listen to the superior and respond, and servility.
Talk about mutual acquaintances. This does not mean to gossip, but to notice what qualities stand out in them.
When talking about others, people unconsciously emphasize what is present in themselves. If he emphasizes the good in your mutual acquaintances, doesn’t belittle their achievements, doesn’t criticize them, isn’t condescending, he’s more likely a good person. The hater brings out the bad in himself by talking about others in the style of “Abe mani go toya”.
Notice its boundaries. No one is infinitely sincere, kind, patient, executive.
By carefully observing, you will notice, for example, whether the new colleague is ready to really help or just talk. Or he says “stop” when someone tries to put all the work on him. In the first case, you can hardly rely on the colleague in a critical situation. In the second, he shows that he is cooperative, but not a fool who can be used.
Scout with combat. Well, not literally. A person reveals his true nature when he is in a critical situation, put under sudden strong stress, under extraordinary circumstances. Then he cannot play roles and begins to behave as his true nature dictates.
If you have a profession in which it is important to you what kind of person your colleague is because you will have to rely on him in danger, you can create a scenario to check his reaction. You’ve seen this in cop movies.
Tell him a supposed secret. This is a sure way to check that you are dealing with an honest person.
The “secret” may be minor or a complete fabrication. If you hear it from another colleague, then you cannot trust the new one.
Borrow money. In the right situation and a small amount that you are sure is not a problem for him. For example, 2 or 5 BGN because you forgot your wallet and you need cash.
If he reaches out immediately, then he is a person who gives credit to trust. He admits that he might lose the money if you turn out to be the wrong person, but the amount is small. It is more important for him that this way he will understand something about you.
You wait about 2 days with the return and see how it behaves. Reminding you directly or with hints is a bit petty. But if he doesn’t say anything and becomes slightly reserved, don’t be mad – a debt is a debt, no matter how small. Give the money and apologize for the delay. You are dealing with someone who, like you, proactively researches new colleagues.
In “The Right Man” you can read more:
A trick to parry a detractor with the Franklin effect
Learned Helplessness – Get Rid of It to Succeed
Thriving with a Blue Ocean Strategy
How to put a “bait effect” so that the boss, colleagues and partners believe you
In the heat of the moment, act like a boss to become a boss
Scientifically proven: You love your work – you live longer
Specific techniques on how not to smoke if you work a lot
Woman or man for boss
A word to forget at work – enemy
Why hide your ideas from the boss and colleagues