2024-04-12 13:58:38
On the occasion of the publication of his latest book “Do not make mountains out of molehills (and they are all molehills)” -Grijalbo-, Rafael Santandreu tells in an interview with EFEsalud What are the tools to be able to reeducate the mind and achieve the desired happiness, a state, he says, that can become permanent but is reached with daily work and effort.
In the psychologist’s opinion, some of the obstacles that prevent human beings from achieving this happiness are, on the one hand, having the erroneous belief that the events that happen to us are what make us happy or unhappy, when what we should focus on is “in which the key to the emotional world is oneself.”
Pack light and slow down your daily life
The second error is the burden of needs: “Every need created, invented, is a burden,” says Santandreu, who maintains that the solution is to “become light on luggage.”
It abounds in the fact that, as we grow up, we think that we need a lot of comfort, and that people love us, approve of us, and praise us. We want a standard of having a partner, being thin, a great job, the bus being empty… And more and more needs “that we accumulate” and that if they are not achieved can make us feel miserable.
Hence, it is committed to lightening that backpack but also recovering the ability to enjoy the little things, like looking out the window while traveling by train.
“That you leave the house in the morning and that there is a light morning breeze. That is miraculous, wonderful, ecstatic. That is a source of immense happiness and for this you can do several things but one of them is to slow down, try to do things.” things at a third of the speed at which they are done today.
And how can it be achieved in a world that is moving faster and faster? For Rafael Santandreu there is a fundamental principle and that is that “the owner of your mind is you, it is not your neighbor, it is not your boss, it is not your mother“.
“It is you who has to educate your mind with the philosophy that you know is doing you good and cultivate and feed it. And if you do, the madness of the world will hardly affect you, it will even seem likeable, curious and a phenomenon to observe.” “, it states.
Reeducating the mind is possible
The book abounds in psychosomatics and how the mind can produce “very bizarre” physical symptoms after what he thinks during the interview that in Spain there is an “exaggerated” use of psychotropic drugs that must be combated “clearly” because “in many cases they are doing more harm than good “.
He is convinced that almost everyone can re-educate their mind to achieve happiness and believes that the book can facilitate it but it requires “serious, intense and daily” work.
The psychologist Rafael Santandru during the interview. PHOTO EFEsalud/BPC
They can also do it, he clarifies, even those who find themselves in more disadvantaged situations, such as, for example, a friend of his who had all four limbs amputated and who, despite this, is one of the happiest people he has ever met.
“Those are very important lessons, because what they explain to us is that we will all have adversities throughout our lives, no one will be spared, but how we process what happens to us is the key,” he emphasizes.
Stop being “drama queens”
He considers that the human being is a victim and explains that one of the components of neurosis is the complaint and the more dramatic the worse, that is why he gives the example of the scientist Stephen Hawking, who despite his state of health – suffered from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. (ALS) – had a personal rule, which was that complaining is “useless” and “a waste of time.”
“Not complaining does not mean not wanting to improve things or not having great exciting projects, but not from complaining, but from enthusiasm, to do beautiful things, for oneself and for others (…) We are drama queens and drama kings and You have to stop being that way if you want to be happy,” highlights Santandreu.
In his opinion, 90% of the loneliness that people complain about “does not exist”, he does affirm that there is a real one, like what many older people who cannot even leave the house may feel, but others are not real, like those of love breakups.
“You are not alone. And the first reason is that around you is the human race, that is, your potential brothers and sisters, people who have a brutal hunger to love and they are out there. Therefore, that idea of loneliness is in your head (…) You will not be able to feel more loved and accompanied than if you open your heart to others,” reflects the psychologist.
The “bad forms” of politics
And he highlights that not wanting to be right provides peace and that in the field of politics, one sees “many bad forms and irrational behaviors” to impose their vision, something that will change, he says, if society does so too.
“And how to change society? By changing us, yourself, you first,” Rafael Santandreu asserts during the interview, in which he also highlights that it is much better to do things from illusion, “because the driving force of fear is very mediocre”.
Spirituality and death
This last book also includes keys to couples therapy, as well as a wealth of information on spirituality and death.
Regarding the latter, Rafael Santandreu assures that people who believe more strongly that after dying “there is something else” handle death in a different way: “The consolation that this usually provides is brutal, why not use that tool?” .
The last book of the psychologist Rafael Santandreu. PHOTO EFEsalud/BPC
For this reason, he believes that we can all deepen that belief, that of the afterlife. And he argues that there is evidence that this exists from a scientific point of view.
“From an objective point of view, there are indications that indicate this, which are the study of near-death experiences, that incredible phenomenon of millions of people, who have had temporary deaths lasting minutes, and have recovered,” he says.
#created #burden