2024-08-16 03:03:49
What happened in Kolkata has once again shown that even though our society is on the path of development, women being completely safe or even feeling safe is like a dream which has no hope of being realised. But is this only India’s problem? The answer is no. There is no country where such brutality has not happened. Most of the male rapists have committed this heinous crime either for fun or have used it as a means to show their manliness, take revenge and prove women weak.
First a woman goes through rape and then she faces a ‘second rape’ in the words of Joe Biden. He used these words when he was the Vice-President of the United States and during that time the first United States of Women Summit was organized in the White House.
Second, rape, these two words may have been said by an American man, but their relevance is seen in every country of the world. The pain hidden behind these two words cannot be felt by any man in the world. But he must know about it. Along with this, men should also understand what all a rape victim has to face after the incident, which makes it impossible for her to maintain any relationship normally.
What is second rape?
Many research and study papers have been published on second rape. A book with the same name was also published in 1991 and it was used for the first time then. One thing was prominently written in all these and that can also be seen as a definition.
A similar paper was published by a rape victim at Stanford University, which described the entire experience she went through after the incident in about 7000 words. From reporting the crime to the criminal proceedings that followed, the victim was forced to relive the pain and shame of sexual abuse.
She was asked such questions which were designed to prove her wrong and save the culprit. Not only this, such words were said to her which made her feel as if the same incident was happening to her again. This entire experience is called second rape. But this entire experience does not end here.
Society heals wounds
Although the definition of second rape mainly includes things related to the proceedings, but for the survivor, the painful experience does not end here. Her own family, friends, colleagues and even strangers look at her with suspicion. They try to find fault in her. They ask her such questions and talk to her that she keeps getting stuck in bad memories. This brings double trauma for her.
Even holding your partner’s hand scares you
According to a paper from the University of New Hampshire, any kind of sexual assault can make a girl a PTSD patient forever. In such a situation, it becomes difficult for her to get into a relationship with anyone in the future. Even if she gets into a relationship, it is impossible for her to behave like other women.
This is especially evident when the partner tries to be intimate with them in any form. Even simple things like holding hands and hugging give them anxiety.
Many victims who shared their experiences during the study said that sometimes things trigger them suddenly even without physical touch. Be it the way of speaking, the sound of things or any emotion of the partner. These are situations where it becomes difficult for them to understand themselves.
you deserve to be raped
When rape victims disclosed to their partners about the atrocities committed against them, some of them got full support from their partners, while the partners of some did not understand how to react.
There were some victims whose partners used this dark past against them. They were told things like ‘this is why you were raped’, ‘you deserved to be raped’, ‘were you having a threesome when you were raped’. The victims described this experience as like ‘adding petrol to fire’.
Even women are not spared
Other men or family members, they do taunt, but rape victims have to listen to disgusting and emotionally shattering comments even from other women. Despite being women themselves, they use such words that the victim is not able to raise her head for the rest of her life.
No opportunity is left where she is not looked at differently or taunted. This is the time when the saying that women are enemies of women seems to be true. And this thing breaks the victim even more.