2024-09-22 04:30:07
Luna Rabarot remembers with dread the absence of her husband during his treatment journey. Having suffered from ulcerative colitis, this resident of Saint-Quentin-sur-Isère (Isère), 28 years old today, learned that he has stage 2 breast cancer, in July 2022. When the disease was declared, his husband was nursing his distance, he does not accompany her to medical appointments, he is often absent from home and he does not ask his wife about his health status. Indulgent, he thought at first he needed time. “I told myself that he was protecting himself, that he was just scared. I didn’t realize that a caregiver needed to be there throughout the entire process. There’s a little more.”, he said.
In January 2023, between two chemotherapies, her husband announced that he could not bear to see her sick and left her for a new partner he met at work. For Luna Rabarot, it was a real disaster: “I am fighting for him and our child. Before we got sick, we had planned to have another child. I was so hurt, I begged him not to leave me. » He continued: “My life no longer has meaning, I no longer have any pillars, and no more than cancer. This breakup is the most dangerous experience of my life. »
This injustice also stirs up a sense of injustice in him. The couple owns a house and the young woman finds herself paying the costs of the property alone while waiting for the divorce to be finalized more than a year later. “I’m on sick leave and I don’t have my full salary. It was hard moneyhe confided. I have lost everything, my health, my family and soon the house, while he lived his best life with his new partner in another apartment. »
Luna Rabarot’s condition is not uncommon. Research published by the journal CrabNovember 2009shows that, faced with a cancer diagnosis, a woman is six times more likely to experience a breakup than a man in the same situation. To reach these conclusions, researchers followed several couples in the United States for two years, one of whose members has just been diagnosed. At the end of this observation, they noted that the rate of separation rose to 20.8% when the woman was ill, compared to 2.9% when the patient was the man. Another American study, published in 2015 in Journal of Health and Social Behaviorend with similar results. However, as Léonor Fasse, clinical psychologist at the Gustave-Roussy hospital in Villejuif (Val-de-Marne), points out, we must be careful: “If the number of separations is very high when the woman is sick, we don’t always know who is behind these separations. » So we cannot conclude that sick women are more often left by their partners than the other way around.
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