2024-09-26 09:25:26
And how to deal with them
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You’re very lucky if you don’t work with at least one nasty colleague. Hopefully, but not, as the song goes. And spending 8 hours 5 days a week with one-two-three toxic people is a problem. Not only is it unpleasant, but there is also another risk – these nasty people influence you strongly. Without wanting to and without feeling like you’re absorbing what you hate. It has been proven by research that this is how it happens – nasty is contagious.
You must consciously control yourself not to resemble unpleasant colleagues and at the same time neutralize them so that they do not harm your career. It’s not easy, but there are techniques that work.
With all types, the first important thing is to have healthy human and professional morals, not to compromise with your values, so as not to succumb to their harmful influence.
The second important thing is not to let yourself be manipulated, used, crushed, angry. You’ll manage them if you combine strong ethics with an indomitable will, say relationship experts.
1. The Critic
He is also spiteful and incompetent, because the capable person usually criticizes constructively, willing to point out weaknesses and mistakes to be corrected in the name of general team success. And never be dismissive of other people’s suggestions or work. And the critic rarely has interesting ideas, he is not particularly talented and hardworking. He thrives on denying, pointing out omissions only to publicly humiliate. He often criticizes not the proposal or the achievement, but the personality of his colleague.
The countermeasure: When you interact with such a person on a daily basis, it is easy to get infected. Get into the same tone by answering him. You can deal with the critic by not defending yourself, but by striking at his weak points. Politely ask him to suggest an alternative to your decision or specific changes to it. He will be startled because he has no ideas. Repeat the exercise 2-3 times, and he will gradually stop criticizing you, he will turn to less cold-blooded and fighting back colleagues. More
2. The scoundrel
As soon as he decides that something affects his interests, he does not shy away from any means to protect himself and harm his colleagues. He distorts facts, lies, slanders. Uses psychological manipulations to make someone else guilty. It ironizes, sticks labels, challenges you to lose your temper.
The countermeasure: Watch him for a while and you will discover what manipulation techniques he uses. You’ll manage by working out the right reactions depending on his tricks. Remember that the main goal of the scoundrel is to achieve an imbalance in the relationship, ie. to throw you off balance. When it achieves this, it manages to control you and change your identity in the eyes of others. So try to be extremely cool.
3. The simpleton
He speaks rudely, insultingly, cynically. He is kind sometimes when he asks for a favor. But not always, because he usually thinks that everyone owes him.
The countermeasure: His attitude is probably not personal towards you, he treats everyone like that (except his superiors), he misses his first 7 years. You can’t afford to get into the same style. But tell him in plain text that you will not tolerate such behavior. Not because it offends you – a simpleton cannot affect you, you are people of different dimensions. And because you consider rudeness a manifestation of unprofessionalism. In this case, it is not unethical to talk to your other colleagues and ask the boss to take action. The manager’s duties include taking care of the good atmosphere in the team. More
4. The brat
He obsesses over your personal space in all sorts of ways – touching your belongings, piling his own things on your desk or in your closet, constantly keeping you busy.
The countermeasure: This person is overstepping the bounds and also preventing you from working. So state it to him in plain text and firmly.
5. The gossip
Because he keeps talking to you about his colleagues, you can guess that he is talking about you in front of them.
The countermeasure: Deflect him quickly by telling you something about co-workers. It is easiest to ask him something about himself – his own persona is a favorite topic. Be careful not to talk to him about your work if you don’t have to. Never share anything personal.
6. The schemer
Unlike the gossiper, who can spread true things, the schemer spreads rumors that have no truth in them. Its purpose is to denigrate someone, to scold two or three, to create a wrong impression on the boss about who does what and how he works.
The countermeasure: Sharply cut off the schemer when he talks to you about colleagues. Show him in front of witnesses that you know about the rumors he is spreading about you and the lies he is telling the boss. Make him back up his stories. Since he won’t be able to, he’ll probably stop dealing with you. Try communicating with your supervisor in person so that he or she is aware of your accomplishments. More
7. The Envious
He hypocritically rejoices in your successes, but always finds a way to belittle them. Or, quite directly, he does not hide his envy that you have achieved something. Either way, it poisons your joy.
The countermeasure: Avoid this person, he is very toxic. If you do have to talk, don’t make excuses or belittle your achievements to make him less jealous – it won’t happen. You can only magnanimously say “I wish you success too” and quickly pass away.
8. The User
He tries to get you to do most of the work there is for the two of you to do. He is considered very cunning – for example, he compliments you. In fact, he is a wrecker who demonstrates feverish busyness and activity only when the boss is nearby.
The countermeasure: Don’t let this tariqat use you to do his work. Make it clear to him that you see through his numbers and cross them. If possible, ask the boss to divide the work so that everyone has their own specific responsibilities. So it will soon become clear who is doing what and how.
9. The grumbler
He wears you out with his incessant negativity. He is dissatisfied with everything, he is sure that nothing good will ever happen. It’s always someone else’s fault.
The countermeasure: Interrupt that colleague as well as soon as he starts talking in his favorite way. Negativity is terribly contagious, and if you need frequent contact, until you feel it, the whole world will start to look black to you. Talk to him practically, just for work. When he says his favorite “ah-ah-ah, that can’t be done,” don’t dissuade him, but act as you have decided. If you must both act, tell the boss what you propose, and let him set the grunt to work .On no other matter do you listen to him when he talks, do not try to convince him that the world is not so bad and the future is not so hopeless.
10. The dispenser of wit
Unsolicited advice pours from his mouth like torrential rain. He is convinced that he knows and can do everything. Sometimes he is benevolent, he thinks he will help you, and he really is able to do so. Other times it wastes your time. And it is possible that he wants to suggest that you are not capable enough to cope without him.
The countermeasure: Although the know-it-all is annoying, consider whether in a particular situation you benefit from listening to him. If you don’t have one, kindly thank him for his willingness to advise you and firmly emphasize that you know how to act yourself. More
In “The Right Man” you can read more:
Tricks to smartly ask for a raise
The hard truth about 9 soft skills that guarantee success
Your most important task for professional success – reputation management
Work is (not) everything. But where is it in your self-concept
“It can’t be done” – a signal of a wrong mindset that boycotts success
6 steps to extract added value from every critique and ensure your success
Science fact: Your happiness at work is a precursor to your success
The wrong social comparison boycotts success
How do you get along with your salary?
Change continues, but why doesn’t it always win
You earn more success by working “on trust”
Circle of influence determines success. Three practical steps to be on the right track