Amelia Dimoldenberg and Andrew Garfield went on a date and the world was watching. In the YouTube format “Chicken Shop Date”, the 30-year-old Briton has been meeting stars for ten years and “hanging out” with them by inviting her celebrity guests to fast food restaurants, asking them bizarre questions and testing their flirting skills. the proof. What Garfield found particularly admirable in this episode was that Dimoldenberg personally asked him about the red carpet date. Then he said: He does it quite often.
With this Dimoldenberg hits a raw nerve, even with those people who are neither YouTube celebrities nor Spider-Man: the time of “dating app burnout” has begun. In a study by psychologist Wera Aretz, around 14% of surveyed dating app users said they suffered from symptoms of burnout: tiredness, exhaustion and frustration, triggered by the accumulation of bad experiences and being overwhelmed by dating apps .
Anything that is “cringe” will not be thrown away
British singer Kenya Grace also sings: “It’s something I hate. “How everyone is disposable”; he hates that everyone is “disposable”. The hit “Strangers” has long been one of the most popular Tiktok sounds. In it he deals with the disappointment of being ghosted again and again and feeling replaceable. When people on dating apps decide for or against a person’s photo with the swipe of a finger, that’s exactly what happens: The photos seem interchangeable and the search for a real match seems endless.
In Amelia’s videos, weird moments that are “cringe-inducing” or “embarrassing” aren’t deleted, they’re simply left in. There is flirting, challenging and nervous giggling. After Amelia and Andrew meet, the comment columns under the YouTube video are filled with disbelief: Can dating be like this? Some users feel the tension between the two so palpable that they wonder if it’s even okay to watch them. Others describe their desire for romantic encounters and the sparks that fly the first time they see them.
Now you could obviously say: it’s all a show. Amelia says on the podcast with author Sam Fragoso: That’s true, but she’s single and would really like to meet someone. Honest motivation is always part of his appointments. Why shouldn’t this also lead to a love story? With or without a camera: Amelia’s authentic way of approaching her dates and asking them candid questions shows her viewers how much fun it can be to sit across from each other with a little excitement with gestures and facial expressions – instead to try to reach a person by analyzing chat lines.
Approaching someone like Dimoldenberg directly may not be for everyone, especially if you’re used to signaling interest with a simple tap. This is why there are now targeted offers for “analog” appointments. In New York, a running group meets every week or so where the color of the shirt indicates who wants to hang out and who is hooked.
Emerging from the swamp of dating apps and daring may be worth it. Amelia and Andrew also realize during their tense date at the show that there’s a vibe and maybe they should go on a “real date” without a camera. And everyone who has watched them probably sees it that way.
Interview between Time.news Editor and Dating Psychologist Wera Aretz
Time.news Editor (TNE): Welcome, Dr. Aretz! Thank you for joining us today. Your research on dating app burnout has garnered significant attention, especially in light of Amelia Dimoldenberg’s recent YouTube episode with Andrew Garfield. What are your thoughts on the way dating dynamics are portrayed in her “Chicken Shop Date”?
Wera Aretz (WA): Thank you for having me! I think Amelia’s approach is quite refreshing in today’s dating landscape. By creating a laid-back environment and incorporating humor, she showcases that dating doesn’t always have to be serious or filled with pressure. It allows people to connect in a more authentic way, which seems to resonate deeply with viewers—especially in light of the frustrations many have with dating apps.
TNE: Absolutely. In your study, you noted that around 14% of dating app users experience symptoms of burnout. Could you elaborate on what that burnout looks like?
WA: Certainly. Dating app burnout typically manifests as emotional exhaustion, feelings of frustration, and a sense of defeat when it comes to finding genuine connections. Many users become overwhelmed by the constant swiping and the almost infinite choices, which can lead to feelings of disposability, as illustrated by artists like Kenya Grace. People can feel like they are just another face in a sea of options, which can be disheartening.
TNE: That “disposability” concept is so prevalent in our fast-paced digital world. Do you believe Amelia’s humorous and awkward dating setups help alleviate some of these pressures?
WA: Yes, I do. When Amelia allows for these “cringe-inducing” moments to live on in her videos, she normalizes the awkwardness and imperfections of dating. This can make viewers feel less alone in their experiences. It’s a reminder that dating, in reality, is rarely smooth—something reflected in the nervous laughter and genuine interactions she captures.
TNE: You mentioned earlier how Andrew Garfield appreciated Amelia’s inquiry about their red carpet experience. What does this kind of personal interaction reveal about modern dating?
WA: It illustrates the importance of authenticity and vulnerability. In a time when many interactions can feel superficial, asking meaningful questions can foster a genuine connection. When people engage in this way, it invites a level of honesty that benefits the dating experience. It contrasts starkly with the quick judgments often made on dating apps, where a simple swipe can end any chance of developing a deeper understanding of someone.
TNE: Do you think the cultural fascination with figures like Amelia and platforms that allow for more personable interactions indicate a shift away from traditional dating methods?
WA: Definitely. As more individuals express their dissatisfaction with dating apps, we’re seeing a growing desire for authenticity and real connections. Programs like “Chicken Shop Date” cater to this need by blending entertainment with genuine interactions, thus challenging the norms of how we date in the digital age. People are craving intimacy that’s not only real but also relatable.
TNE: In that light, what advice would you give to those feeling the effects of dating app burnout?
WA: I would suggest taking a break from the apps and exploring alternative ways to meet people, like classes, community events, or even just reaching out to friends. Additionally, it’s essential to engage in self-care and not be overly critical of oneself. Instead of focusing solely on the end goal of finding a partner, prioritize enjoying the process of connecting, however awkward or “cringe” it may seem.
TNE: Wise advice! Thank you so much for sharing your insights, Dr. Aretz. Your research definitely sheds light on the current state of dating and the importance of finding authentic connections—both online and in-person.
WA: Thank you! It was a pleasure discussing this important topic with you.