Chicago, February 29, 2024 — A woman’s decision to experiment with dating apps and broaden her age preferences led to a surprising realization: emotional maturity isn’t always tied to a number on a birth certificate.
Dating Younger: A Growing Trend?
Table of Contents
More women are finding fulfillment—and fun—in relationships with younger men, challenging traditional dating norms.
- A 34-year-old Chicago woman began dating men significantly younger than herself after a friend’s suggestion.
- She discovered that younger partners often offer a refreshing openness and enthusiasm lacking in older relationships.
- Celebrities like Cher and Madonna are also embracing relationships with younger men, normalizing the trend.
- While challenges exist, many women find the dynamic rewarding and fulfilling.
Channing, a communications firm owner in Chicago, recounted a friend’s advice: “Try a man 10 years older, then one 10 years younger, and compare the differences.” She took the challenge, adjusting her age preferences on the Bumble dating app. Soon, a 24-year-old man reached out.
“He asked me on a date, planned everything. At the end of the first date, he asked, ‘When can I see you again?’ Then he offered to pick me up for a second date,” Channing said.
Channing was pleasantly surprised by the young man’s clarity, initiative, maturity, and understanding—qualities she hadn’t consistently found in previous partners. This experience led her to understand that emotional maturity and chronological age aren’t necessarily linked.
Six years later, she exclusively dates younger men, even having recently maintained a friendly relationship with someone 14 years her junior.
Of course, dating younger men isn’t without its hurdles. They often live with roommates or in small, modest apartments, sometimes don’t understand older references, and occasionally seek a mother figure rather than a girlfriend. However, they tend to be less jaded, more open-minded, and more fun than men their own age.
“They’re more likely to have a good time on dates, rather than interrogate you to see if you’re marriage material,” she explained.
And, she added, they certainly know how to have fun—taking her skiing, golfing, out for drinks, or even to a lively karaoke bar.
The experience has been “eye-opening,” Channing said, hinting that the fun extends to the bedroom. “Let’s just say they’re very active,” she teased.
Age Gaps in the Spotlight
Significant age differences in relationships aren’t new, but they appear to be gaining traction.
Many confident, established women are increasingly choosing younger partners. Pop icon Cher, 79, is dating 38-year-old music producer Alexander Edwards. Madonna, 77, is linked to 29-year-old soccer star Akeem Morris. Actress Sienna Miller, 43, is expecting her second child with 29-year-old actor Oli Green.
In 2024, Nicole Kidman, 58, surprised audiences in the film “Babygirl” by portraying a powerful woman captivated by a 28-year-old intern. Gwyneth Paltrow, 53, recently returned in “Marty Supreme” as an aging actress involved with a much younger Timothée Chalamet, 30.
These complex and undeniably sensual characters are a far cry from the predatory older women of the past, like Gloria Swanson’s grotesque aging diva in the 1950 film “Sunset Boulevard,” or Anne Bancroft’s troubled housewife in 1967’s “The Graduate.”
Relationship expert Jonie Moon, who specializes in working with women over 50, says these portrayals in popular culture are empowering. “When they see Cher and Madonna or other stars with younger partners, they realize they can date whoever they want. The more this relationship model is normalized, the more women want to try it,” she stated.
“I work with energetic, amazing women who are 50, 60, and 70. They’re in great shape, strong, and want to live active lives,” Moon added. “They notice that their peers are slowing down, so they start thinking about looking for a younger partner. Why not?”
Generations of “Pumas”
“I come from a long line of pumas,” says Sharlene Durfey.
The term “puma” often refers to middle-aged women who pursue romantic relationships with younger men.
Sharlene Durfey is a vibrant 50-year-old artist and creator of “Intimacy Cards”—a deck of cards designed to spark deep conversations between friends and even strangers.
Relationships with younger men are common in her family. Her mother, Susana, is 11 years older than her husband, and Sharlene’s older sister, Shari, has been with a man 14 years her junior for many years and they are raising a 13-year-old daughter together. Three years ago, Sharlene married a man 12 years younger than herself.
“I’m sure part of it is that we look young,” Sharlene told The Post. “But I really don’t think age is that important.”
Sister Shari, a 57-year-old wellness specialist, agrees that age is irrelevant: “The most important thing is compatibility and shared values.”
Shari and Sharlene grew up in San Jose, California, surrounded by energetic women who often attracted the attention of younger men.
Their grandmother was 11 years older than her second husband, and the girls’ mother, Susana, enjoyed going to dances with her friends and dressing provocatively.
“I remember scolding my mom because her skirt was too short or her blouse showed too much,” Sharlene recalled.
After Susana divorced their father (when Shari was a teenager and Sharlene was nine), she only dated younger men and instructed her daughters not to reveal her true age.
“My mom has so much energy,” Shari said. “I don’t think an older man could keep up with her!”
Age is Just a Feeling
Shari and Sharlene didn’t initially follow in their mother’s footsteps, dating older men in their twenties. Shari eventually married someone close to her age, but the marriage began to crumble as she approached 40.
She then met her current partner, Keith, online.
Music—bands like Modest Mouse and The Beatles—and literature brought them together: “He immediately read the first book I suggested,” Shari said. Her first husband never did. She flew to Pennsylvania to meet him.
When Keith picked her up at Philadelphia International Airport, Shari first asked to see his ID.
“He looked much younger than 27, he looked like he was 17!” Shari said.
Despite the age difference, the couple felt an immediate connection.
“We align on so many things,” Shari said happily. “We only occasionally feel the difference.”
During one of their first dates, she suggested a ritual where they would gaze deeply into each other’s eyes for an extended period, without speaking or moving: “That’s when I knew I had to be with this person, no matter what,” Shari said.
After 17 years, they live in Pennsylvania, where Keith is a teacher and Shari is a hydrocolontherapist. They have a 13-year-old daughter who is eagerly awaiting their wedding.
A Family Shift
Sharlene was initially teasing about Shari’s relationship. At the time, she was living in Los Angeles and didn’t want anything after a seven-year relationship ended. But upon turning 40, she dramatically changed her life, moving to Berlin and downloading the Tinder app.
“I used to be pretty conservative—I wouldn’t sleep with someone I wasn’t going to marry,” she said. “Then I got to Berlin and thought, ‘Now’s the time to let loose.’”
At 40, she decided to relive her youth, choosing younger men.
“I noticed that guys were even more into me when they found out my age,” Sharlene said. “I felt much more powerful than I did in my youth.”
After a couple of years in Berlin, she met her current husband, Philip, at a birthday party. “He was funny,” Sharlene remembered. “I wanted to see him again.”
Sharlene realized Philip was significantly younger; their mutual friends were in their twenties and thirties, but she wasn’t sure if Philip knew her real age.
“I mentioned that there was a big age difference, and he said, ‘I don’t care, it doesn’t matter,’” she said. “I asked, ‘Are you sure?’ And when he found out my real age, he didn’t change his mind.”
A Worry About the Future
While she says they are a great match, Sharlene has recently given more thought to their age difference.
First, their friends are starting to have children, and Sharlene is no longer able to have them. Also, since his mother died of cancer during the COVID pandemic, Philip is particularly concerned about Sharlene’s health.
“He’s always worried I’ll die before him,” Sharlene said.
Additionally, Sharlene feels increasing self-consciousness about aging in a world dominated by Botox, body enhancements, and facelifts.
