The line between helpful tool and unhealthy reliance is blurring for many in the age of artificial intelligence. For one woman, the concern centers on her boyfriend’s increasingly pervasive use of ChatGPT, a powerful AI chatbot, and its potential impact on his independent thinking. The situation is further complicated by his pre-existing diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a neurodevelopmental condition often characterized by challenges with focus, planning, and impulse control.
“My boyfriend of eight years, who is 44, has ADHD and runs his own business,” she wrote in a letter to advice columnist Annalisa Barbieri, published in The Guardian. “He’s always struggled with admin and mundane tasks, but AI has revolutionised how he works. Now I’m worried he can’t seem to do anything without AI. He is a heavy ChatGPT user and uses it even when there’s a better non-AI alternative… He just got his ChatGPT Wrapped and he’s in the top 0.3% of users worldwide.” The woman fears his dependence on the technology extends beyond professional convenience, permeating his daily life and raising questions about his ability to function independently.
The Allure of AI for Those with ADHD
Experts suggest that the appeal of AI tools like ChatGPT for individuals with ADHD is understandable. “Someone with ADHD has a shorter attention span, difficulty focusing and a reduced capacity to plan and think ahead, so AI is a perfect fit, which is why it can be so helpful,” explained Henry Shelford, CEO of ADHD UK, in response to the letter. The chatbot can assist with tasks that often prove challenging for those with ADHD, such as organization, scheduling, and initiating projects. It can provide a structured framework and reduce the cognitive load associated with everyday tasks.
However, this remarkably benefit carries a potential downside: the risk of overdependence. Consultant clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. Stephen Blumenthal cautioned that becoming overly reliant on AI could lead to a loss of essential cognitive skills. “When used judiciously, AI aids us, but it could have disastrous consequences if we become dependent on it and lose the capacity for ordinary functioning,” he said. The concern is that constant outsourcing of thought processes to AI may erode an individual’s ability to think critically and solve problems independently.
Beyond Convenience: A Search for Validation?
The woman’s concern that her boyfriend’s AI use might be a symptom of underlying anxiety, rather than simply a practical solution, resonated with experts. Blumenthal suggested that excessive AI use can sometimes indicate a deeper emotional need. “Problems arise when your use of AI goes beyond satisfying the problem you wish to resolve. It feels as if a relationship with it has started to develop, and you imbue it with human qualities, a projection of our own wishes and desires for validation and care,” he explained.
This perspective suggests that the chatbot may be fulfilling a need for reassurance or guidance that the individual is not finding elsewhere. The constant availability of AI-generated responses can be particularly appealing to someone who struggles with self-doubt or decision-making, offering a readily available source of answers and validation.
Navigating the Conversation
Addressing this type of concern requires a delicate approach, particularly given the woman’s awareness of her own tendency to “nag” and her boyfriend’s potential for obsessive behaviors. Experts recommend avoiding accusatory language and instead focusing on open communication and understanding. Shelford advised asking questions like, “What are you getting out of it? Why is this tool such a big deal and what are the gaps it’s filling?” This approach aims to uncover the underlying motivations driving the AI use, rather than simply criticizing the behavior itself.
Blumenthal emphasized the importance of compassion and recognizing that reducing reliance on AI may experience threatening to the individual. “As with any overdependence syndrome, there first needs to be recognition that there is a problem. It’s easy to become critical of the person who’s struggling, but that’s only likely to cause them to withdraw further into dependency. The case must be made compassionately, recognising that being without the scaffold of ChatGPT probably feels like a threat.”
A Path Forward: Augmentation, Not Replacement
The decent news, according to Blumenthal, is that the boyfriend has a history of functioning effectively without AI. The goal should be to help him rediscover that capacity and locate a balance where AI serves as an augmentation to his existing abilities, rather than a replacement for them. This requires a conscious effort to identify areas where he can confidently rely on his own judgment and skills, and to gradually reduce his dependence on the chatbot for tasks he is capable of handling independently.
addressing this issue requires a deeper exploration of the underlying anxieties driving the excessive AI use. Finding the root cause will be crucial for both partners as they navigate this evolving technological landscape and strive for a healthy balance between leveraging the benefits of AI and preserving independent thought and function.
Every week, Annalisa Barbieri addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa, please send your problem to [email protected]. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions. The latest series of Annalisa’s podcast is available here.
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