For Hank Nuwer, a professor of journalism from Indiana, the idea of navigating Europe alone was a prospect fraught with anxiety. His previous attempts at international travel had been characterized by a series of unfortunate events: getting lost in the labyrinthine alleys of Brussels, enduring multiple police stops and a failed attempt to visit Poland—the land of his ancestors—that collapsed before he even departed.
Determined to break this cycle, Nuwer sought a different approach in 2015. He didn’t want a commercial tour; he wanted a genuine connection to the history of his grandfather, who had fled Poland during the early 20th century under Russian rule. This search led him to a digital gamble: le pidió a una desconocida en internet que fuera su guía turística por Europa, and in doing so, he set the stage for a relationship that would eventually redefine both of their lives.
The “stranger” was Małgorzata Wróblewska, known as Gosia, a Warsaw-based accountant with deep familial roots in the city. Nuwer had discovered her through a combination of LinkedIn networking and Google searches. While the request was unusual, Gosia—then in her 40s and spending much of her time caring for aging parents—found the proposal intriguing. After verifying Nuwer’s identity through his public record as an expert on university harassment and a published author, she agreed to demonstrate him her city.
From Professional Guide to Personal Connection
The first meeting took place in a hotel lobby in Warsaw. While Gosia recognized Nuwer from his television interviews, Nuwer had only seen a blurry profile picture. The attraction, according to Nuwer, was immediate. However, the bond that formed over the following day was not based on romantic clichés, but on a rare, intuitive comfort.
As they traversed the city, visiting museums and tracing the maps of a Poland that existed during his grandfather’s era, they discovered a shared ability to exist in silence. Gosia later noted that the absence of the need to fill every moment with conversation was a sign of a deep, natural alignment.
Their conversations quickly shifted from the landmarks of Warsaw to the intimate details of their personal histories. They spoke of divorce, adult children, and the emotional toll of caregiving. Nuwer, who had lost his mother to Alzheimer’s, found a profound empathetic resonance with Gosia’s experience caring for her parents.
The Transition to Romance
After Nuwer returned to the United States, the friendship transitioned into a daily ritual of emails and phone calls. The intellectual and emotional intimacy grew until Nuwer invited Gosia to spend Thanksgiving in Chicago. It was during this visit that the potential for a romantic partnership became undeniable.
The couple spent time at Starved Rock State Park, where the boundaries of their friendship dissolved. They shared a cabin and a level of vulnerability that neither had experienced in years. By the time they celebrated Thanksgiving at the historic Drake Hotel in Chicago, they recognized they had found a partner in one another.
Despite the chemistry, the relationship faced significant logistical and emotional hurdles. Gosia was hesitant to abandon her parents in Poland, and her long-standing independence made the idea of marriage daunting. For a period, they maintained a long-distance relationship, traveling between the U.S. And Poland every two months.
Crisis and Reconciliation
The path to their union was not linear. In 2017, Nuwer proposed, and though Gosia initially accepted, her fear of the institution of marriage resurfaced. One week before their scheduled wedding, Gosia canceled the ceremony.
The cancellation left Nuwer devastated. For several days, the couple existed in a painful silence. It was during this void that Gosia realized the magnitude of her feelings, recognizing that the prospect of a life without Nuwer was more frightening than the prospect of marriage. Within weeks, she contacted him to express her commitment, and they eventually married in a small ceremony in Waldron, Indiana.
Following the passing of her parents, Gosia moved permanently to the United States. The couple navigated the challenges of merging two independent lives with a unique tool: a keyword. Whenever an argument became circular or unproductive, one of them would say “penguin,” effectively ending the dispute. They claim that the word was so effective they haven’t needed to use it in six years.
A New Chapter in the North
The couple’s shared appetite for adventure eventually led them to Fairbanks, Alaska, in 2022. Nuwer, who had left university teaching during the pandemic due to a distaste for remote instruction, took a position with a local newspaper. He eventually returned to teaching part-time at the University of Alaska Fairbanks, while Gosia continues her work as an accountant.
Today, they collaborate on a column for The Cordova Times, with Nuwer writing the text and Gosia providing the photography. This partnership extends to the arts; encouraged by Gosia, Nuwer returned to community theater after a 48-year hiatus, appearing in 10 plays in less than two years.
Looking back, Gosia describes their meeting as destiny, though she emphasizes that destiny requires an active response. “Destiny does not mean you can sit and wait for something to happen,” she says. “It all depends on how you take advantage of it or what your reaction is.”
For those navigating the complexities of love and divorce in their 60s, Nuwer offers a perspective grounded in experience: stop searching for love and instead search for adventure. By stepping outside of their comfort zones and embracing the unknown, he and Gosia found a companionship that transcends borders and age.
The couple continues to divide their time between Alaska and a cabin in Poland, planning future travels to Hawaii and Belize.
Do you have a story of an unexpected connection? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
