One day in October 2019, Wil Hanswijk, then 67 years old, went for a walk with the dog, just like every day. Because she didn’t come back, her husband Hans went looking for her. Along the way he spoke to all kinds of passers-by, acquaintances and strangers. Later in the day, one of those strangers drove up. Will and the dog were in the backseat.
“She said she was on her way home,” says Hans (68), on the phone from Norway. “She meant her childhood home, where she had lived as a girl.”
howling
Hans knew immediately: wrong thing, his wife was suffering from dementia. And the disease struck quickly. “We did a test at the GP, it went badly. She couldn’t tell the time and couldn’t remember three words. Two months later she didn’t remember my name. When a neurologist officially diagnosed Alzheimer’s a little later, she knew I don’t know what that meant anymore.”
Hans did know what it meant: “I’ve been crying a lot, you should know that.” He bought a GPS tracker and hung it around her neck like a necklace. Since then, he has never left her alone.
In the months that followed, they tried to continue their normal lives. During the day they went together to the gift shop in Hazerswoude Dorp, which they ran professionally since Hans left the Naval Air Service as a lieutenant commander in 2006 with a functional age discharge. That went well, but not optimally. “She kept running away when customers came.”
In the evenings they took walks with the dog, as they have done all their lives. “When there were just the two of us, Wil was always calm and cheerful.”
Camper
The corona crisis and the subsequent lockdowns did Wil no good, Hans felt. “We were at home. I thought that was a nasty life for her. For myself too, by the way. And I noticed that Wil became restless from the routine.”
Why, Hans thought then, don’t we go out like we used to with a camper? “We always did that with the family during the holidays. Then we rented a camper and made a nice trip.”
There was resistance to his plan. From their three sons, for example. From doctors too, and a social worker. Did you have to do that, being away from home for so long with a woman with dementia? Didn’t she just need a familiar environment? What if something happened to her? What if something happened to him?
“Everyone saw bears on the road,” says Hans, “but I saw the benefits. Together in a bubble. With nobody to do anything, go where we want. Exactly the situation in which Wil is always calm and satisfied. only restless if she doesn’t see me, or if there are others around.”
All stories
So Hans persevered, ‘stubborn of course’. He sold the gift shop, in October last year, and bought a motorhome that he named ‘Ons Campertje’. He also created a Facebook page under that title, on which he documents their travels on a daily basis.
After a test week in the Veluwe, the first trip went to France, Spain and Portugal. He was right: Wil revived. “When we walk together – still, and always, hand in hand – I feel that she is having fun. She points out all kinds of things and has all kinds of stories to go with it.”
That’s how they live now, always on the go. Since then, they have been coming to Alphen aan den Rijn very little. Only if necessary, says Hans, which in their case means: once every three months for a few days. “We sometimes have to go back to get new medicines for Wil, and I have to check up because I have had skin cancer. But then we want to get back on the road as soon as possible. A day at home costs me as much energy as a week in the camper.”
Coffee, medicine, walking
The daily routine is something like this: he gets up around 7 a.m., drinks coffee, eats breakfast, reads something, writes something for the followers on Facebook. He wakes his wife around 10 am. He washes her, dresses her, makes breakfast, makes sure she takes her meds. Then: walking. Always walking. “She loves that. Then we have a cup of coffee, and we drive to a new place to see something or to spend the night. Wil loves zoos and aquariums, so we go there when we can.”
She is pointing at everything along the way. Hans films the route with a camera on the dashboard, so in the evening he looks back at what she has indicated. She also has animated conversations with her two good friends: she has one in both mirrors. “Those conversations are good and long,” says Hans. “Even now, while we call each other, Wil has an extensive conversation with a friend in the mirror.”
Sometimes she gives Hans’s slippers names. They then get a kiss on the nose before going to sleep.
And she accepts his lead without resistance. He doesn’t know exactly how. Sometimes she calls him “darling.” When night falls, she sometimes says ‘daddy’ to him. Maybe she instinctively feels that they belong together. In any case, it’s a blessing.
In Wil’s world
He is not lonely. At least not anymore. “In the beginning I missed a good conversation with my wife. But that is gone now. I let myself be carried away in her world, and that is an adventure in itself. The loneliness fades as a result. We enjoy each other. In addition, I have a lot of contact with family via social media. And I write about the trip. So I’m not bored.”
It is not a sacrifice for him, he continues. “She has always taken care of me and our three boys. Now it’s my duty to take care of her. To make sure she has a nice life. We’ve known each other for 50 years. We’ve been married for 46 years. And don’t forget: myself I can also really enjoy our lives and our travels.”
They are currently touring Norway. They went to the North Cape. They walk, hand in hand, 10 to 15 kilometers a day. This week they camped near Fauske, and near Ørnes, high in the north. “There was a big storm this week. We weathered it just fine.” Via the west coast, and later the south coast, they return via Oslo and Sweden.
In top condition
On their last visit to the Netherlands, in July, the GP established that Wil was at the same level as a year earlier. “That reassures me,” says Hans. “That tells me we would do well to be on the road. Wil is stabilizing. She is in top physical condition.”
And then? “Just quickly through the medical circuit. See the boys. And then quickly on the road again. Next time we go to Italy. The shorter we stay at home, the better we have it. That way I have a fantastic life, and Wil enjoys it too – visible – every day. We have a good time together.”
‘Stay in familiar surroundings’
Philip Scheltens, professor of neurology and director of the Alzheimer’s Center: “In principle, we advise people with advanced dementia not to travel. This is because people with Alzheimer’s become restless from an environment they do not know. They avoid social contacts, become confused by too many stimuli, which is why we usually say: stay in a familiar environment.
So if these people had come to me with this plan, I would also have said, would you do that? But I understand that this lady reacts very well to it. That will have to do with the micro-environment of their motorhome. There are well-known anchor points: the camper itself, her husband. I think that gives a sense of protection. If this lady is indeed happy in this way, then you can only say to this man: well done.”