The failed priest arrives in Heaven

by time news

twelve o’clock, November 12, 2021 – 09:45

from Fortunato Cerlino

Vincenzo then realized he was dead. At first it all seemed strange to him, but he was in a daze and the extraordinary things that happened to him seemed normal to him. A bit like dawn, when the mind wanders in the limbo between conscious and unconscious. He did not ask himself any questions when, hovering in the air, he flew over Paris, a city he has always loved, or when a few meters from the water he crossed the Mediterranean, where for some years he had been helping immigrants on an NGO ship. He was not even surprised when he met friends and relatives who have long since disappeared and to whom he was very attached. He entertained them as if they had seen each other the day before. Everything took place in a peaceful, relaxed, joyful atmosphere. Then he remembered the accident that cost him his life. Fighting against the waves he was trying to save a child swept away by the waters during a night storm. After being able to put the baby to safety on the lifeboat, exhausted, he accepted that the sea would slowly swallow him. Sitting in a dazzling green meadow, Vincenzo thinks of all the people he hasn’t been able to greet, and as he looks at the clear sky over his head, a tear runs down his face.
Vinc!… Vincenzo !.

A man approaches smiling and holding out his arms. Vinc, are you staying here ?. Vincenzo cannot recognize him. Have we met before?. Sure! I songo ‘o masto !. Who?. Who’s in charge of it around here, do you understand? The man says with a wink. Really…. I am Jesus, Vinc !. Jesus?!.


The man spreads his arms, bends his head to the side, sticks out his tongue and makes a strangled sound. Golgotha…. Then he hugs Vincenzo, yanking him hard. I know ‘really happy’ and he sees you ‘. Thank you for everything you have done in my name….

But I…. I know everything, you don’t need to explain to me. I am omniscient, have you forgotten ?.

But add stamme qui ?. In heaven. You like?. Beautiful…. I know, I could have done better … ‘and mosquitoes,’ and virs for example, to consider that I did everything in six days, something can escape. Again Jesus embraces Vincent and gives him a resounding kiss on the forehead.

If you are overly Jesus you should not be happy accuss’ and me…. And sin? As a child I wanted to be a priest, do you remember ?. Of course I remember. Every night you spoke cu m. Jesus, make me addivint priest! Jesus, I want to do or good for the people …. But then I didn’t.

You backed out when you found out you were a fagot.

In fact. A rich man cannot be a priest. Even if he vows chastity, he always remains rich. The robe on him offends God.

And how many times do I tell you that that was all bullshit? In what sense did you yell at me?

Always Vinc! Every holy day! ‘Na vota I even tripped you and made you fall down the stairs of the church because you were afraid to go inside, do you remember ?.

I split ‘head. Three days and a reserved prognosis! But was it you ?.

I had to use the hard way. You didn’t hear us in any way. When you opened your eyes in the hospital, do you remember the first thing you saw?

Nu crucifix ‘nface’ or wall…. No, not the crucifix. I had you put cu n’ato ricchione like you in the room. Luca, who later became your boyfriend and with him you started humanitarian missions to help ‘and desperate.

Was it your doing? And who else? But then it didn’t make you think that I was…. To me? But what does it matter to me if a rich, black, Neapolitan, Milanese, Communist, Fascist, Jewish, Muslim … it is you who pay so much attention to these nonsense. Also to me, for example, ‘na vota call me Jesus, na vota Mohammed, n’ata vota Buddha … but I am always one. I presented myself to you as Jesus only to be recognized. If I appeared in front of you with blue skin and said, Pleasure, Krishna, how would you have reacted?

Bad…. Precisely! I do call me whatever you like. As you want me, so I appear to you. ‘Na vota am a man, n’ata vota femmena, another gender fluid or’ na drag queen, or a dog, a bird, n’ippo, ‘na cloud, nu temporal, in short, difficult to speak’ cu vuje e so I have to transform myself all the time. Except that you keep it tough, do a lot of confusion. Establish religions, enact rules and laws. I am like that, you are with, I am man, you are female, chill’ato ricchione. What a brothel do you like and do !. But I thought that….

Jesus suddenly takes the form of Shakyamuni Buddha…. Do you want to ‘know’ how many times you have been a woman in your previous lives ?. He takes a parchment out of his robe and quickly scrolls through it. Three thousand three hundred twenty-two times. Not just as a human being. You have also been a mare, a sheep, an ant, a mite and even nu muschillo. A thousand and five hundred times you have been a hermaphrodite and only one hundred and twenty-four times a boy. How beautiful you were when you incarnated in a rich tulip. You died by withering softly on the grave of a holy Dutch woman. Because you’ve always liked to do good. Vinc. You are a good soul, and that matters to me… welcome to Heaven. Here you will stay as long as you want, and when you are ready you will return to earth… what sex do you want for the next incarnation ?.

Vincenzo smiles. Do you … much or the same ….

November 12, 2021 | 09:45

© Time.News


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