2023-08-14 23:22:41
“Many people believe they are in love, when they are not in love at all. They may have a strong erotic interest in a person, think about them all the time, spend happy hours and days with them, and then, after a while, lose this interest because, in thoroughly, it satisfied him. It wasn’t true falling in love but an erotic infatuation”. It was 1979 when the publisher Garzanti published “Innamoramento e amore”, the essay that made Francesco Alberoni the most famous sociologist in Italy.
After a long period of ideologies that had denied any value to the couple, to falling in love and ridiculed exclusivity and jealousy, “Falling in love and love” was like a flash that suddenly revealed a hidden reality. And it was an immediate success with translations into 25 languages. Criticizing the dominant philosophical and psychological currents that reduced falling in love to a sexual repression or infantile regression, the book places it in the field of collective processes in which two individuals rebel against their previous ties and give rise, through the enthusiasm of the state nascent, to a new community: the couple in love, projected towards the future.
“Falling in love tends towards fusion, but towards the fusion of two different people. For there to be falling in love there must be diversity and falling in love is a will, a strength to overcome this diversity which however exists and must exist – Alberoni wrote – The the loved one is interesting because he is different, because he is the bearer of his own unmistakable specificity. This specificity, this uniqueness, indeed, is exacerbated in falling in love. We want to be loved as unique, extraordinary, irreplaceable beings, absolutely ourselves”.
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