Arman Kaymakcian was, by his own account, moments from ending his life. Standing near a train station in Long Branch, New Jersey, he had reached a point of utter despair, fueled by years of trauma, addiction, and a profound sense of hopelessness. But a sudden, inexplicable impulse led him to a nearby hospital, a decision that would alter the course of his life and ultimately inspire him to share his story of redemption in his memoir, “He Calls Me Redeemed: A Memoir of Childhood Sex Abuse, Heroin Addiction, Hope, and Redemption.” Kaymakcian’s journey, from the depths of addiction to a life he describes as “an absolute blessing,” offers a stark and deeply personal look at the power of faith and the possibility of healing, even in the face of unimaginable pain.
The path to that train station was paved with suffering. Kaymakcian details a childhood marked by sexual abuse, which he says led to a descent into drug use beginning with marijuana in his youth and escalating to narcotics during his high school years. This spiraled into drug dealing and, a crippling addiction to heroin. He describes a life consumed by chaos, marked by robbery, legal troubles, and a pervasive sense of misery. “I’ve robbed everybody,” he recounted, painting a picture of a life spiraling out of control. “I… had problems with law enforcement, problems in the street… Just desperation, hopelessness, absolute misery in every capacity you could believe of.”
A Descent into Despair and a Moment of Intervention
By the time he turned 27, Kaymakcian felt he had hit rock bottom. The physical and emotional toll of addiction was overwhelming. “I’m suicidal due to the fact that I’m so miserable from the addiction,” he explained, “and every morning I wake up, as soon as I opened my eyes, it was just absolute misery from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep.” He described the agonizing experience of “dope sickness,” a physical manifestation of his dependence. It was in this state of profound despair that he made the decision to end his life.
However, on his way to the train station, something shifted. He found himself drawn to a nearby hospital. He walked inside and confessed his struggles, leading to a stay in the psychiatric ward for several days. It was during this time, at his mother’s prompting, that he received a Bible. Opening it to a random page, he landed on Psalm 88, a passage he says resonated with his deepest feelings of pain and abandonment. “I read that Psalm and it was like, if I could have written God a letter in that moment, it was everything that I felt, everything that I thought,” he said, describing a moment of profound emotional release. “I just begged Jesus to save me.”
From Distant Faith to Personal Relationship
Kaymakcian’s experience in the hospital marked the beginning of his recovery. He sought professional support in rehab and began to rebuild his life. He describes a transformation in his relationship with God, moving from a sense of distance to a deeply personal connection. “I never had a problem that God existed,” he explained. “That was never an issue, but He just felt so distant… like having a father in another state that you never met before.” He continued, “And, then, all of a sudden for Him to show up one day and say, ‘Hey, I’m gonna spend time with you over the next few months, years, and we’re just gonna get to understand each other.’ That’s a completely different situation, and that’s what God did with me.”
Rebuilding a Life and Sharing a Message of Hope
Starting over wasn’t simple. Kaymakcian found himself without a high school diploma, a job, a home, or any clear prospects. He recalled making a list of goals, including finding employment, starting a family, and, surprisingly, writing a book about his experience. Years later, that seemingly improbable goal became a reality with the publication of “He Calls Me Redeemed.” He now describes his life as “an absolute blessing,” sharing it with his wife and three children. “We’ve done so many incredible things. We’ve traveled, spent time together as a family. It’s been an unbelievable experience over these last 15 years since I gave my heart to the Lord.”
Kaymakcian’s hope for his memoir is that it will inspire others facing their own struggles. He wants readers to confront difficult questions and consider the possibility of faith and redemption. “My hope is… that people would stop and ask themselves the hard questions after reading this book,” he said. “I really just hope people stop and think and ask themselves the question, ‘Who is Jesus?’” He believes he has been delivered from his past and given a solid foundation for a new life, a transformation he attributes to divine intervention. “I don’t wake up every morning and have to fight not going to use drugs,” he said. “It’s a complete shift and change in mindset. It’s a new life. You’re a new creation.”
Kaymakcian’s story serves as a powerful testament to the possibility of overcoming even the most devastating circumstances. As he continues to share his story and promote “He Calls Me Redeemed,” he hopes to offer a message of hope to those who experience lost and broken, demonstrating that even in the darkest moments, a path to healing and redemption can be found.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or suicidal thoughts, resources are available. You can contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 in the US and Canada, or dialing 111 in the UK. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.
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