Grief support
Vilnius University Suicidology Research Center psychologist Dr. Jurgita Rimkevičienė notes that mourning always causes many difficult experiences, and after the suicide of a loved one, it has its own characteristics. “We’ve lost a loved one, it usually happens suddenly, it’s often unexpected, and it’s even more difficult that it’s an act done by the person himself. This often leaves the difficult question of “why?” unanswered. All of this together creates a lot of feelings, requires time and space to compose your story, what happened, how to continue living with it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen quickly, that’s what the grieving process is all about.”
Mourning after the suicide of a loved one, according to the psychologist, is complicated by the stigma of suicide. In the event of a loss, it is common to receive support from those around you, and “the suicide of a loved one brings a certain moment of silence and loneliness, it seems to be more difficult to talk about suicide. That’s why it’s important to find people with whom we can talk about those difficult questions, be it relatives, survivors of a similar loss in groups, or professionals.”
Speaking about helping those who have lost a loved one due to suicide, J. Rimkevičienė notes that invitations to look for the bright side of life can have the opposite effect. “For some it might be a help, but for a large part it will create resistance because it’s like we can’t see the pain they’re going through.” When going through a loss, it is important to look not so much for the bright side, but for what supports you, what helps you stay and persevere,” says J. Rimkevičienė.
To honor the dead and take care of the living
People who are going through a bereavement or other emotional crisis may seem withdrawn, self-centered, and avoid communication. It is important to look out for signs that may indicate a risk of suicide and to offer support and help. These signs may include talk of futility or suicidal ideation, avoidance of contact with loved ones or friends, mood swings, apathy, and loss of interest in activities.
Specialists of the Institute of Hygiene remind us about psychological help, which is especially important when experiencing a loss. When experiencing a suicide crisis, contact details for help providers by location and preferred method of help are available on the website “You Esi“, and the free number of the Psychological Crisis Help Center, 1815, is also recalled, where professional psychologists advise those who are worried about their own or another person’s possible suicide.
“Evenings are a time when we remember not only the dead, but also look back at the living. Mourning has no time limits, but it is important to seek support, talk about your feelings, allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise. Even when experiencing the greatest pain, you can find compassion and support,” says Sandra Getautė, Head of the Suicide Prevention Department of the Institute of Hygiene’s Mental Health Center.
Institute of Hygiene inform.
Interview between Time.news Editor and Dr. Jurgita Rimkevičienė
Editor: Welcome, Dr. Rimkevičienė. Thank you for joining us today to discuss a sensitive yet incredibly important topic: grief after losing a loved one to suicide.
Dr. Rimkevičienė: Thank you for having me. It’s an honor to share insights on such a profound subject.
Editor: To start, could you explain how mourning a loved one who has died by suicide differs from more traditional forms of grief?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: Absolutely. Mourning after a suicide is unique and complex. It’s often sudden and unexpected, leaving survivors grappling with difficult questions about “why” this happened. The abruptness of the loss can lead to an immense amount of unresolved feelings, and this can prolong the grieving process.
Editor: That makes sense. The unanswered questions must add an additional layer of complexity. How does the stigma surrounding suicide impact the grieving process for those left behind?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: The stigma is significant. When someone dies by suicide, it often creates a silence and a sense of isolation for the bereaved. Unlike other forms of loss, where community support is readily available, survivors might find it difficult to talk openly about their loss. This can intensify the isolation and complicate their healing journey. It’s crucial for these individuals to seek out others—whether they’re family, friends, or support groups—who can listen and empathize without judgment.
Editor: I can see how important that support network would be. In your experience, what are some common misconceptions about grief that you encounter, especially in the context of suicide?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: One major misconception is the idea that grief should lead to a quick search for the “silver lining” or the “bright side” of life. While some individuals may find comfort in looking for hope or meaning, for many, it can be alienating and frustrating. It’s essential to acknowledge and embrace the pain. The focus should be on what helps the individual cope, whether that’s support from others or accepting their emotions as they process their loss.
Editor: That’s an important distinction. How can friends and family support someone who has lost a loved one to suicide?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: Listening is the most powerful thing they can do. They should offer a safe space for the person to express their emotions without pushing them to move on too quickly or to rationalize the loss. It’s important to validate what the bereaved is feeling and not rush them into feeling better. Encouraging conversations about their loved one and talking about the issues surrounding suicide can also be healing.
Editor: Are there specific resources or types of support that you recommend for those coping with such a loss?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: Yes, absolutely. Professional help from psychologists or counselors experienced in grief and trauma can be beneficial. Additionally, support groups specifically for survivors of suicide loss can provide a sense of community and understanding. Organizations dedicated to suicide prevention also have resources available, including hotlines and informational materials.
Editor: Thank you, Dr. Rimkevičienė. Before we wrap up, what message would you want to impart to our readers who are dealing with this kind of loss or know someone who is?
Dr. Rimkevičienė: I’d emphasize that it’s okay to feel the way you do—a profound loss, especially one from suicide, can be overwhelming. Take the time you need to mourn, reach out for support, and remember that you are not alone in this journey. Ultimately, finding ways to honor the deceased while taking care of your own emotional needs is key.
Editor: Wise words. Thank you for your valuable insights, Dr. Rimkevičienė. We appreciate you shedding light on this essential topic.
Dr. Rimkevičienė: Thank you for the opportunity. It’s a conversation worth having, and I hope it helps those in need.
