On TV A scene from a movie was playing. The film was released a few years ago and ran quite successfully. The protagonist tells a friend about the girl he likes.
“Machi, she is a very good girl”
“You haven’t talked to her yet, then you’ll never tell her” – this is a friend.
“I watched her for half an hour, she didn’t even get a phone call,” the man quips.
I laughed. Is a girl a good girl if she doesn’t get calls on her cell phone? How patriarchy permeated the minds of creators.
In the age without cell phones, the family, the neighborhood and the society in public were watching who women were talking to… whether it was him, her, a relative or a friend. Everyone had the opportunity to “condemn” the woman by correcting her “morality” by saying “she” is not a problem, “he… is not right”. But this ruined technology came and ruined everything. The old-timers lament.
It is only in the rural areas where cell phones are not in circulation and in the lower classes that do not have the means to buy, that the patriarchal common sense is watching over all women as comfortably as before. But, in small towns, cities and affluent families, almost all women have their own cell phones. During the Corona era, parents were forced to give cell phones even to schoolgirls for online classes.
All these together have put the family and society in a state of tension. Parents of school and college girls complain that “Whenever you look at the phone. Frankly speaking, the fear behind all these is “I will fall in love with someone…”.
“Whenever the phone comes, who is calling… why are you doing this at this time… why are you talking for so long… they ask you a thousand and eight questions like this… will I study for the exam, will I have answered everything… there is tension in schools and colleges” The young schoolgirls are not without justification in lamenting.
Criticisms such as “I didn’t come home after work, why do I have to answer all the office calls” and laments like “Even though I came from work from home, I don’t know if it was the office call or someone else”, women who go to work are not left behind.
A married woman has to answer to her husband, mother-in-law and father-in-law. After each phone call, “The manager spoke, there is a meeting tomorrow”, “My brother spoke, he will come here tomorrow”, “My friend spoke, sister’s wedding came to you”, “Sister from next door spoke, let’s drink for the boy”, I have to give a phone explanation. .
Women’s space, which used to be only the home, has now expanded. Girls are going to study. They go to many places to find work. They interact with many people. They learn to speak. They work very efficiently. The cell phone has become an essential tool for communicating with the outside world. A society that doesn’t care when men use cell phones only gets scared when women use them. “Who would it be?” Pity that. Behind this is doubt about her `morality’. Everything is a song that conceptualizes ‘purity’.
It is an extreme fantasy that all women who talk on cell phones are talking to their lovers. Let us take unmarried women. If the girls of our house are studying in schools and colleges, how is their world, what are their problems, joys, do they have any tears that cannot be expressed outside… Don’t you want to know? Do you take the time to get to know your lady of the house fully and talk without any preconceived notions? If not, do that first. Communicate with them with inner love. They will settle everything. If you’re afraid that cell phones and social media will put her at risk, let her know your fears. It is very important to establish trust in yourself. It is enough to reassure girls that “even if you make a mistake, don’t be afraid, we will be with you, don’t worry”. They will not hide anything from you. If you let it go and start monitoring the cell phone, it will only cause a rift in the relationship.
Almost the same applies to unmarried, married, working and non-working women. Relationships can change. But the basis for monitoring women’s cell phone conversations is, as mentioned earlier, “Is she being “behaved”?” It is a common sense doubt. The reason behind this is that a woman should have an arranged marriage within her caste and religion, and a stone woman should be ‘true’ to her husband.
Friends, guys… our girls are intelligent. They know how to live. Let’s not hate a woman who uses her rights, let’s not approach her with prejudice, but love her. As a first step, let’s not judge “she is like this” based on talking on the cell phone.
– Let’s get tired…