Defying the odds: Woman Becomes Mother at 56 After Decade-Long Fertility Battle
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A North West London woman is challenging societal norms and inspiring hope after welcoming her son at the age of 56, following a grueling ten-year journey marked by seven miscarriages and tens of thousands of pounds spent on fertility treatment. Monica Kraner, now a mother to baby Lewis, shares her story of perseverance, heartbreak, and ultimately, triumph, in the face of both biological challenges and insensitive public commentary.
Monica’s path to motherhood was far from conventional. While friends were becoming grandparents, she and her husband, Peter, now 59, embarked on a quest to start a family. “I still hear stupid comments, I just try to change the topic – it wasn’t my decision to be a late mum. I became one as of life happening,” Monica explains.
For years, miscarriage cast a long shadow over her life. “For years, miscarriage quietly governed my life,” she recounts, describing a devastating cycle of hope and loss. “Each pregnancy began with cautious hope, and each loss followed the same heartbreaking pattern: spotting, cramps, and that devastating silence during the scan.” She endured seven miscarriages over a decade, including one just hours before her wedding at age 43.
Despite the emotional toll, Monica and Peter remained persistent. Turning to private fertility treatment, they initially pursued artificial insemination and two rounds of IVF, all without success.Doctors ultimately diagnosed Monica with “unexplained infertility,” a frustrating label that left her feeling trapped and without control.
A turning point came after her seventh miscarriage in 2022. “Something inside me broke,but it also opened,” Monica says.She realized she had been approaching pregnancy with fear and self-blame, and needed to shift her mindset. She began therapy and joined a miscarriage support group, finally allowing herself to openly grieve each loss. “I allowed myself to grieve each pregnancy as a real loss, and that was incredibly healing.”
She adds, “I am so grateful he is healthy and happy and I am happy. I love every second.he is the best thing that happened in my life and aside from the love of my parents, he is the biggest love I have experienced.”
What is IVF?
IVF, or in vitro fertilisation, is a procedure in which eggs are fertilised with sperm in a laboratory. Developed 40 years ago for women with damaged fallopian tubes, it’s now also used in cases of endometriosis, poor sperm quality, or unexplained infertility. Embryos created through IVF are transferred to the womb, or frozen for later use via vitrification – a technique that has significantly improved success rates. IVF can utilize a patient’s own eggs and sperm,or donor gametes. [source: London’s Women’s Clinic]
What to do if you’re struggling with fertility
Seeking help and support is crucial for those facing fertility challenges.Here’s a guide:
- Seek professional medical advice: Visit your GP for an initial assessment.
- Consider both partners: Fertility issues can affect either partner.
- Know when to see a doctor sooner: If you are over 36,have known fertility issues,or risk factors like irregular periods,seek help sooner than the standard one-year mark.
- adopt healthy habits: Focus on a balanced diet, moderate exercise, and good sleep.
- Reduce harmful habits: Stop smoking and vaping, and limit caffeine and alcohol.
- manage stress: Utilize stress management techniques.
- Talk to your partner: Open communication is essential.
- Connect with a support system: Seek support from friends, family, or online communities.
- Understand next steps: Explore fertility tests, specialist referrals, and treatment options like IUI or IVF.
