The management of the two fundamental moments in a child’s day by both parents is essential in order to obtain balanced growth
The time of the fathers is also fulfilled at the table.
When baby food and solid foods are introduced into the diet of the child in addition
and then in place of milk (breast or bottle) the paternal figure has no different tasks from the maternal one. Complementary feeding and weaning are not the sole responsibility of the mother and they can constitute a further declination of the father and son relationship, he comments Laura Reali, family pediatrician in Rome and referent for research and training of the cultural association of pediatricians. The meal on the high chair is an opportunity to be together. While the father feeds the child, he chops the food and offers him tastings – continues Reali -, he can converse with him, summarizing the phases of the day, explaining where he was and what he did, what the son did in the meantime, who took him to the nursery and went to pick him up and how he spent the afternoon. He can describe what is on the table, the food he has on his plate, asking him if he likes it, and the actions he might take, such as getting up and getting the salt and water, helping him to orient himself around the house. Or you can tell him a story.
Family relationship
The moment of the meal must become a moment of family relationship. The presence of the father must not translate into logistical availability. You don’t have to worry only if the baby has eaten or not, how many calories he has eaten, if he has a dirty gag and a diaper to change. it is important that you be interactive with him. The same goes for the mother reports Giorgio Tamburlini, pediatrician and president of the non-profit Center for Child Health. The ideal would be to eat all together – suggests Reali -. The child is born with a large amount of mirror neurons and its maximum imitation capacity up to two years. If the dad sits down to eat in front of him, he can imitate him by bringing the food to his mouth with his hands or cutlery.
Who prepares the baby food
Both parents take turns, depending on their commitments. If the dad comes home late, he can entertain the baby after the meal, playing with him, leafing through a book together or taking him out for a walk, says the pediatrician. Weaning is not just the transition from breastfeeding to solid food. much more: It represents the phase of separation of the child from the mother, from which until then depended for breastfeeding. And in this phase the father figure can play a role of facilitator of the child’s emancipation process and the construction of his self – he adds Giuseppe Banderalidirector of paediatrics at the San Paolo hospital in Milan and vice president of the Italian Society of Pediatrics -. The more the father is involved in the weaning and weaning of the child, and in general in its care, the more it will help him to get out of the symbiotic relationship with the mother. opening up to other protective relationships.
A nanna
The same happens during sleep management, in which the father is as protagonist as the mother. The father must first be informed about the characteristics of the child’s sleep so that he is involved in the routine from the beginning and can promote the transition to the triadic relationship – he recommends Alessandra Santona, family psychotherapist and teacher of dynamic psychology at the Bicocca University of Milan -. it is therefore useful to know that up to six months when the baby wakes up in the night he needs to be comforted and held in her arms, in the following months, on the other hand, being more autonomous and having longer sleep cycles, if he complains, it is not advisable to intervene immediately to give him time to try to go back to sleep on his own.
Turning to the facts: The father is advised, for example, to take care of all the awakenings that do not depend on hunger – continues the psychotherapist -. When the baby cries, he cradles him, talks to him, holds him skin to skin, checks if his diaper needs to be changed. There are no better approaches than others, he will find the most effective bedtime ritual. The older the child grows, the less central the nurturing aspect will be the comfort function of the father becoming more decisive.
Latvian or separate rooms
It does not matter if the child sleeps in another room, in the same room as the parents, in their bed or in their crib. What allows family harmony is the sharing of a care plan between the parents – underlines Santona -. If the father puts the child asleep in his room looking after him until midnight, it will be up to the mother to get up at the first awakening, perhaps moving him to their room. If the father has an early wake up call to go to work, he can devote himself to the routine of sleep, bath time and play. Knowing that the serenity of parents and child are interdependent, finding an agreement on sleep management is the best solutionwhich facilitates the father’s relationship with the mother and the child, avoiding tensions and quarrels.
April 29, 2022 (change April 29, 2022 | 19:35)
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