I never had anything to do with lateral thinkers when a classmate from once told me that his clever brother had organized the Austrian Coronademos and had now emigrated to Bulgaria. At 16 percent, the country has by far the lowest vaccination rate in the EU, it shot through my head, that’s why Bulgaria.
So I sit on the terrace over the Burgas pier, even in the off-season you can still hear a lot of Russian. I have an ice cream cake for breakfast, there is nothing else, and no 3G anywhere. I see my friend’s brother again after 30 years. He confirms: “I’m practically the top lateral thinker in Austria.” The next piece of information finally blows me away: In September, a whole colony of German-speaking lateral thinkers settled on the Black Sea. In a tourist residence called “chateau” alone, 30 live, and another 40 in the area.
He drives me out to their area, to a golden yellow beach. It’s hot, I swim for a long time, a deeply tanned muscle woman jogs up and down with a bird’s head hurrying ahead. Then we talk between the potted palms of the spacious beach bar. Why Bulgaria, I ask, cannot you get into another lockdown here in view of 80 corona deaths every day? It turns out that the emigration of lateral thinkers was prepared with an almost investigatively researched point system. The vaccination quota is a “yardstick for how much a people can put up with”, job opportunities and immigration regulations also count.
The choice fell on Ecuador, which was toured for three weeks in June. In July, a mandatory vaccination for tourists and officials was announced, so Ecuador died. Then Europe was considered. First of all, most likely Bosnia. Bulgaria was his idea. The top lateral thinker praised the broad Bulgarian resistance to lockdowns, and the medical profession was critical of the vaccination. After an exploration trip in August, the decision was made to go to the southeastern Bulgarian coast. And wearing a mask? “That is where the measures were least implemented.” If things get tight in Bulgaria too, Plan B is: Georgia, Ukraine or Moldova. The fact that Bulgaria is an unregulated country with three elections this year suits him well.
Conspiracy in New York
Politically, the lateral thinker describes himself as a “centrist”. He himself had Covid-19, “mild course”, he does not doubt the disease as such. If the states had not imposed any measures, he estimates, the number of those affected and dead would have been “three times higher”. I have already said a lot about the criticism of the measures that he puts forward in the midday sun; that he is about to emigrate can only be explained by his belief in an underlying agenda. “Soulless technocrats who really believe that one can transhumanistly marry people with machines,” would have conspired. As key evidence, he cites the New York pandemic conference, which on October 20, 2019 ran the assumption that a coronavirus was circulating in Brazil: “Event 201, that was the blueprint.” Involved: John Hopkins University, World Economic Forum, the Gates Foundation, endowment. Guided by “sect leader” Klaus Schwab, these are the conspirators.
He drives me back to the airport. He drives relaxed, he lets a tuned pusher by with a smile, “the proletarian exhaust, he just needs it”. His demos were initially directed against “the government and its henchmen”. When the number of participants collapsed in May, “we looked for the problem with the people”. Since then, lateral thinkers have been asking themselves, disappointed, why the people aren’t fighting back? His answer: “You can write off your home country through the bank.” At half past five I am back home. Slight sunburn, salt in your hair, cheerful return from a beach trip. But I think back to this top lateral thinker with restlessness.