Although the term burnout has been coined in the workplace, it can also occur among couples exposed to a lot of stress. We tell you more!
He burnout or love exhaustion can occur in those couples who are exposed to a lot of stress. It can be confused with a lack of love or with a desire to end the relationship.But it doesn’t always have to be that way. Today we will talk about the signs that warn of this exhaustion and what to do about it.
People are exposed to different sources of stress, depending on our age and responsibilities. When you have a love relationship, it often happens that this feeling of mental and physical overload permeates this very intimate circle. However, the important thing is to know how to recognize those not so good stages and how to overcome them.
Exactly what is the burnout or love exhaustion?
At first, the burnout is a term that was coined in the workplace to refer to “feeling burned out” or “too exhausted”. It is a syndrome associated with stress that, accumulated, generates demotivation to continue with the assigned tasks.
As it is, the burnout Loving is understood as a latent problem between couples who are exposed to very stressful situations, both from external sources and from outside the relationship. We speak from very high workloads, to excessive dedication to household chores or family care.
According to the sexologist and couples therapist Eva Moreno, love exhaustion is described as a “negative emotional state that, combined with the lack of energy, creates the perfect conditions for conflictwhich grows very easily and is increasingly difficult to repair.
Although the outlook reads pretty bad for couples experiencing this syndrome, it must be said that all is not lost. Understanding that the main trigger for this burnout is stress, it is possible to save the relationship by identifying the sources that affect the relationship.
According to American Psychological Association, “The key to stress management is to identify and modify those behaviors that cause it.”
What are some of the causes of this exhaustion?
As we mentioned, the causes of burnout or love exhaustion are multiple. In fact, highly dependent on each partner and their individual environments. However, we will point out some that can help you identify if you are going through this moment.
Overconfidence
At first, it is normal for love, passion and complicity to be on the surface. Both do what is within their power and more to please the other and to offer the best of each other. However, over time an overconfidence develops that It makes you feel secure in your partner, even without doing anything for her.
Well, in couples that have been around for a long time, this scenario can occur, being a probable cause of burnout or love exhaustion. Forgetting a special date for once may be normal, but little by little these types of events will accumulate, generating stress and lack of interest, as well as frustration and lack of appreciation.
excessive workload
One of the most common causes of love burnout is the overwork of one or both partners. This occurs in endless days of work, that is, less time to share moments that strengthen the marriage or courtship, relegating it to the time that is left over.
This situation of disinterest affects people, makes them feel unappreciated and unimportant, which later gives way to burnout loving. Simultaneously, being bad with your partner negatively affects job performance, as indicated by some research.
The convenient thing is to find the balance between the couple and work so as not to have to sacrifice one of the two.
infertility
In a study that took 98 infertile couples as a sample, it was determined that this condition generates pressure in the relationship. This stress can cause psychological crises that affect the bondso it is a factor that can trigger the syndrome of burnout loving.
As described in the document, it is women who experience this exhaustion the most, in relation to men.
Signs warning about the burnout loving
Based on what we have discussed so far, the burnout or love exhaustion does not appear overnight. There are a number of things that can trigger it, little by little. However, it is more latent when the couple is on the brink of collapse.
Next, we will tell you what are those signs that warn you that something is not right.
1. Frequent discussions
Arguments occur in every couple, but when they become very frequent, they can be a sign of burnout. These generate a toxic and negative environment about the relationship, much more when it is not concluded satisfactorily or puts an end to the conflict.
2. Sexual disinterest
Sexual desire is motivated in a couple for multiple reasons. Therefore, if there is a feeling of exhaustion, disconnection and doom, the frequency of sexual relations may decrease or be null. All this aggravates the scenario much more and creates a bigger gap between the two people.
3. Negative feelings
As we said well, discussions can occur in any couple. In a normal scenario, these are resolved without major problems and always under the premise that neither has anything against the other and has the best intentions.
But when there is love exhaustion, negative thoughts prevail and make you see the other as a villain.
4. The relationship becomes a burden
Once the burnout or love exhaustion, the relationship becomes a burden for the one who is most exhausted. The signs of affection decrease, there is fear of spending time with the other due to the negative idea that arguments or bad times will occur.
5. Desires to end the relationship
At the highest point of the burnout or love exhaustion, whoever feels the most exhausted dreams of running away from the relationship. The easy way out is to end the courtship or marriage so you don’t have to deal with a solution It requires will to achieve.
This same desire leads couples to feel attracted to other people who present them with a completely different scenario, much calmer and safer.
Changes in your relationship to overcome the burnout or love exhaustion
Recapitulating a little what we have exposed so far, it is necessary to understand that the burnout or love exhaustion is not synonymous with lack of love. It is a syndrome caused by multiple variables, which can be treated and can be overcome, if that is the desire of the couple. Here are some changes that can help you get through this time.
1. Be honest
The first step to overcome burnout Loving is being honest about the feelings you are experiencing. Dare to communicate, in a quiet moment, what is on your mind.
This includes a tint of transparency and assertiveness that allows exposing the emotional and physical needs that are being experienced, as well as their shortcomings. For the moment to be successful, hurtful and confusing words must be put aside. The idea is to be as clear as possible.
2. Understand the other
Each person has a language of self-love. For this reason, when you are in a relationship, it is necessary to identify the best way to balance and maintain them. So, each will feel appreciated, wanted and loved by the other.
Likewise, it is necessary to understand that even if they are a couple, each person has tastes and preferences that may be different, but that talking and reaching agreements can be easier to carry. They can even be enjoyed more.
3. Provide separate spaces
Do not panic! We are not talking about a divorce, but about the opportunity to enjoy separate spaces that give the relationship a breather. This advice applies to couples who stay together for a long time.work together or have the same hobbies.
The feeling of loss of independence can cause love exhaustion to appear and a negative feeling of not being able to do anything without the other. It is important to open leisure and self-care spaces to keep individual energy alive.
If love exhaustion is excessive, seek couples therapy
If you have done everything for him burnout or love burnout goes away and isn’t working, it may be a good idea to seek couples therapy. A professional can help them channel their feelings, to learn to express them better and to comply with the agreements established to save the relationship.
In fact, this is a good way to identify if you are going through a bad time or if your courtship or marriage has become an endless cycle that should indeed end. Therapy is not always taken to provide the solution one expects, but rather to better understand your scenario and make the healthiest decision.
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