Facing a Glioma Diagnosis: One Woman’s Journey Through Fear, Healing, and Living in the Moment
A new perspective on life emerges after a brain surgery for a malignant glioma, highlighting the power of resilience and embracing the present.
The first thought, surprisingly, was “Coffee.” Despite a pounding head and the aftermath of a craniotomy for a potentially malignant glioma, the simple craving surfaced immediately. It was a sign – a small, yet significant indication – that she had survived. A quick mental check confirmed cognitive function remained intact: “100, 93, 86, 79, 72, 65, 58.”
A surgeon’s reassurance followed, tempered with difficult news. While the surgery itself was deemed successful, the pathology revealed a more aggressive tumor than initially anticipated. “During surgery, he encountered a more extensive tumor than revealed on the baseline MRI and therefore required a longer time in surgery,” the surgeon explained, adding that further treatment – including radiation and chemotherapy – would be necessary. Despite delivering this challenging prognosis, the surgeon emphasized the importance of focusing on recovery. “You’ve done well. You’ve had a good result with the surgery, and you need to give attention to healing from the surgery.”
The initial fear hadn’t been about death, but about losing herself – the core of her identity and cognitive abilities. Having navigated that initial hurdle, a sense of euphoria washed over her. The months of excruciating pain preceding the surgery had vanished. “My gravest fear was to not wake up as me; to lose the critical thinking capacity of my brain where the tumor lurked,” she reflected. The relief was profound, a sentiment echoed by her surgeon, who explained that many brain cancer patients experience immense joy once the pain subsides after tumor resection.
Twenty-four hours post-surgery, recovering on the neuro-surgery floor, her voice was returning, albeit gravelly. The need for caffeine was undeniable, a vital component of her brain’s recharge. A craving for a Starbucks coffee led to a humorous moment when her husband and son returned with a cup from a different establishment. “What’s up guys? Did you think my coffee tasting ability got scooped out with the brain tumor?” she playfully questioned.
The experience catalyzed a profound shift in perspective. She found herself genuinely living in the moment, free from the regrets of the past and anxieties about the future. Acknowledging a limited life expectancy due to the malignant brain tumor, she realized her greatest fear had already been confronted – the initial, daunting craniotomy. Surviving that “frontal assault” intact felt like a rebirth. “I met my fears, and it was not the cancer; it was my nightmares, my imagination, and my perceptions of the possible horrors awaiting me on the other side of the craniotomy.”
This journey fostered a newfound trust in her care team while empowering her to advocate for her needs and those of her family. She had recalibrated her responses, emerging stronger, much like the titanium now securing her skull. The experience underscored the importance of confronting inner demons and finding strength in vulnerability. She had faced the worst, and in doing so, discovered a resilience she never knew she possessed.
