Colin Jost reprised his impression of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth during the October 3, 2026, cold open of Saturday Night Live, shotgunning a beer and reciting a poem on military culture before Donald Trump interrupted with a campaign pitch.
Colin Jost Mocks Pete Hegseth on Saturday Night Live
Colin Jost brought back his impression of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth during the October 3, 2026, episode of Saturday Night Live. He entered the cold open shotgunning a can of Tom Holland’s Bero non-alcoholic beer, which The Daily Beast noted entered the market in late 2024.
Jost’s Hegseth dismissed the drink as Spider-Man’s non-alcoholic b—h beer
while targeting the politician’s public macho persona and military leadership approach. The performance featured a slam poetry segment mocking the real Hegseth’s attempts at poetry, with lines targeting diversity initiatives and military standards.
“No D-E-I, no guy on guy,” Hegseth said. “No fatsos, no fuggos, no camel toes. No weirdos, no beardos, no Jills who became Joes.”
Pete Hegseth, via The Daily Beast
Jost’s Hegseth told viewers, I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote,
adding that Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight. Our warriors all have high T, testosterone. Yeah, I’m talking muscles, huge. Veins, throbbing. Balls, gone.
The routine ended with a dismissive sign-off: In conclusion, vote, I guess.
Jeremy Culhane rounded out the ensemble with an impression of JD Vance, while Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla appeared as Republican National Committee strategists.
Donald Trump Offers Cash for House Control
James Austin Johnson returned as Donald Trump to offer a direct cash incentive of $5,000 to every American citizen if Republicans secure control of the House of Representatives in the 2026 midterm elections. Rolling Stone reported that the proposal was pitched as a promise the speaker insisted was not a bribe because he had no intention of following through with it.
Johnson’s Trump announced I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble
before delivering his pitch. TheWrap reported the segment served as a commentary on GOP midterm strategy and high-stakes campaign promises.
One day I say to him, ‘Mr. Trump, how about a salad?
Marco Rubio, via The Daily Beast
GOP Faces Voter Frustration Before Midterms
Republicans face a challenging political environment heading into the 2026 midterms, driven by voter frustration over rising inflation and Trump’s unpopular war in Iran.
The monologue included a surprise appearance by Taylor Swift.