A mother has expressed her mixed feelings about her 23-year-old son moving 2,000 miles away to a new city with his girlfriend. The young man, who has struggled with mental health issues in the past, is making the move to live a life that makes sense to him, and his mother fully supports his decision. However, she is dealing with a whirlwind of emotions due to her anxiety and the fact that her son is an only child, and she is struggling to cope with the imminent change.
She reached out for advice and was met with meaningful support from an expert. The advice is clear: the mother should deal with her emotions on her own time and space and not burden her son with them. Options to cope with the change include seeking counseling, self-care, cultivating new interests, engaging in happy distractions, spending time with friends, taking up a meditation, yoga, or walking practice, or volunteering to occupy her nurturing impulses.
The mother is also encouraged to plan a visit to her son’s new city in six months and establish communication guidelines so as not to feel overwhelmed by the new long-distance relationship she will have with her son. Compassion is expressed for her feelings and a reminder is given that her role as a parent has changed as her son became an adult.
Another individual shared their own experience, mentioning they had also hesitated before seeing a therapist and urging the mother to not muzzle her own emotions, but rather use them as a starting point for her therapy sessions. The mother’s self-awareness in wanting to manage her feelings on her own instead of making them her son’s responsibility is also acknowledged.
Lastly, the mother receives words of encouragement to be brave in seeking therapy, and reassurance that therapy is her journey and she has the power to set the agenda. The therapist should provide nonjudgmental and supportive guidance, and if the mother feels unsafe or does not click with her therapist, she is encouraged to seek alternative options.
This story serves as an example of the complexities of parenthood and the emotions that come with children leaving the nest. It provides a compassionate and practical approach to accepting change and finding constructive ways to manage the feelings that come with it.