martina Colombari Opens Up About 30 Years with billy Costacurta and Son’s ADHD Journey
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Martina Colombari,the former Miss Italy,recently shared a deeply personal reflection on her three-decade relationship with Billy Costacurta and the challenges and triumphs of raising her son,Achille,who has ADHD,during an appearance on Silvia Toffanin’s program. Colombari described a period of profound personal and family balance,marked by both enduring love and hard-won serenity.
A love Story Three Decades in the Making
Celebrating 30 years together, Colombari emphasized that her relationship with Costacurta isn’t about achieving an unattainable ideal, but rather a daily commitment built on navigating differences. “It doesn’t seem like all these years, much less,” she shared. “We are very different, there have been crises. we moved away for a year, the crisis of the seventh year, bickering and slammed doors: life as a couple must be built. It’s to easy to walk away, you have to fight.” She acknowledged the importance of mutual respect, stating, “It’s also right to be able to say ‘ok, let’s stop.’ We have never had to say it,but if there were to be,we will accept it.”
A significant portion of the conversation centered on the journey with her son, Achille Costacurta, and his diagnosis of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Colombari revealed that the difficulties thay faced ultimately strengthened their bond. “The difficulties with Achille united us,he was our glue,” she explained. “He made me lose the myth of control. I frequently enough try to control everything, work, family… everything must work as I say, but this doesn’t work with life. There are times when you have to step aside and let the experts do it.”
Colombari admitted to initially attempting to manage every aspect of her son’s life, a tendency she now recognizes as counterproductive.”I have no guilt-I worked on it, but knowing how to accept what happens,” she said. She described a past where she felt compelled to be a “policeman,” but ultimately realized the limitations of that approach. The late diagnosis of ADHD brought profound insights. “Hearing him talk about his past makes me feel bad, even if he talks about it with awareness,” she confessed. “They were very difficult times, I am not a courageous mother, I did what any mother would have done: I did my best, to be there, to hold his hand.”
Facing Criticism and Finding Support
Colombari also addressed the criticism she received during challenging times, especially regarding perceptions that she prioritized her career over her family. “I felt finger pointing, my being a mother was questioned, according to them I was thinking about my career and not my family,” she stated. She emphasized the importance of open dialog surrounding family struggles, asserting, “When there is a family member who has a discomfort, everyone has that discomfort. But you have to be clear-headed. It’s right to talk about it, so that there are no taboo topics.”
To better understand and support Achille, Colombari and her husband sought therapy. “My husband and I went to therapy to understand how to help him. Now we have an instruction booklet: manny discussions that existed before do not happen now. His is a brain that works in a different way.” She recounted a poignant moment during Achille’s hospitalization,where simply offering him food,even when he couldn’t eat,served as a comforting gesture. “With him I understood that ‘that word more or less’,” she shared.
Currently, Achille is living in Australia, a decision that brings her both worry and acceptance. “He’s in Australia now and I’m very worried, but you need everything in life. It’s right that he has his own experiences. Come back in a month,” Colombari concluded, acknowledging the importance of allowing her son to forge his own path.
