Why Travel is a Crash Test for Relationships
Vacation is the best time of the year? Not always, especially not for couples. A third of all separations take place right after the summer holidays. If a divorce is actually pending, this can also be combined with a special trip.
Holidays together create memories – but not always good ones
Those: pa / VisualEyze / Nikky
HWalking into the sunset holding hands, sipping a cocktail together on the terrace overlooking the sea, looking into each other’s eyes and of course finally time for all those long conversations that you’ve always wanted to have: The holiday together, there they are most couples sure, forges together, creates memories. The question is: which ones?
What’s stupid is that it’s often not the soft lapping of the waves, but the sawing snoring of your partner that accompanies the summer nights. Or the soft click of the nail clippers when he/she trims the toenails on the edge of the bed AGAIN. There are so many little things that get lost in everyday life, but get a place in the limelight on vacation.
Unfortunately, the annoying realization that the church (/temple/museum) tolerance threshold is a completely different one only comes on vacation, just like the embarrassing fact that your partner says the most dreadful “when-do-I-become- a-sausage” English speaks, only shows there.
Many couples separate after vacation
Unfortunately, there are always idle moments when traveling. “That’s great,” you think – but not if you use it to finally clarify a few questions for which there is never time in everyday life. This applies all the more if one person actually wants to watch the sunset romantically, but the other finally wants to discuss the imbalance in the distribution of household chores.
The holiday season is therefore followed by the classic separation season. Statistically, a third of all unhappy couples separate right after the summer holidays, a third in the days after Christmas and New Year’s Eve – keyword winter holidays! – and the last third is spread over the entire year. Maybe it’s all those who can’t afford a vacation?
Incidentally, this problem is not only known in western cultures. The Japanese then speak of the “Narita Divorce”, named after the international airport just outside Tokyo. Of course, this refers to couples who, after their first journey together, go to the divorce lawyer immediately after landing in Narita: You don’t want to spend another day in your life with this bully/this cow!
It sounds banal, but it isn’t: The first long trip together – preferably with an adventure character – should definitely be planned BEFORE moving in together, getting married or other serious undertakings. Compared to the cost of a divorce, this investment is a no brainer.
-> Tip: travel together for the divorce
If the divorce is pending after the vacation period, that can also be combined with a trip: The Dutch company DivorceHotel (divorcehotel.com) offers 48-hour or weekend packages for divorces in a luxury hotel. Lawyers, mediators, psychologists, real estate agents and accountants take care of all divorce matters, also over the weekend – check in on Friday as a married couple, go your separate ways after checking out on Sunday.
Incidentally, this is so successful that the offer is not only available in the Netherlands, but now also in the USA, Australia and Great Britain. On this last trip together, snoring is no longer a problem, because of course there are single rooms for the ex-partners-to-be. Maybe you should have done it that way?
The text is a chapter from the recently published book “What you thought you never wanted to know about traveling” by Françoise Hauser, Conbook Verlag, 256 pages, 9.95 euros.
Source: Conbook Verlag
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