Dealing with a cheating and abusive spouse: When to draw the line

A woman writes into an advice column asking for help on deciding what to do after her husband cheated on her with their nanny. She had asked him to move out, and after months of therapy, he finally started taking responsibility for his actions and apologized. However, her daughter later revealed that during one of his custody weekends, he called her a snitch and blamed her for the separation. The woman is now torn between trying to work through this new revelation and calling it the last straw. The advice columnist strongly urges the woman to seek individual counseling, she also points out that the husband’s actions are deeply damaging and that he may have only started apologizing because he got dumped by the nanny. Additionally, the columnist advises that the daughter should also seek therapy to cope with the situation. The columnist doesn’t want to undercut the husband’s abusive behavior but also doesn’t want to ignore his effort in owning his behavior.