2024-01-01 17:00:07
THEY PAIN
This Monday in December, around twenty people – this day, only women – are seated in a circle in a rented room in a church in the 17th arrondissement of Paris. They are mothers, spouses, daughters of people with an alcohol-related disorder, and meet every week for this meeting. l’association Al-Anonwhich lasts approximately two hours.
These groups were born in the United States in 1951, at the initiative of the wives of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The Al-Anon association, created in France in 1962, currently has 135 groups in France. One goal: to help the families of alcoholics. Groups also exist for adolescents, Alateen. A campaign, called “A bottle in the sea”, has just started to raise awareness of these support groups, because “the collateral damage of alcohol on those around alcoholic patients is rarely addressed”.
“We believe that alcoholism is a family illness – an alcoholic person causes suffering on average to five people around them – and that changing the attitude of caregivers can contribute to recovery”, this is how the meeting begins, opened this week by Jeanne (first names have been changed). Anonymity is the rule. During the first round of the table, the apprehension of the end-of-year celebrations, where there will be many occasions to drink, often comes up. This Monday’s theme, “One Day at a Time,” is one of Al-Anon’s tools. This twelve-step method is based on that of AA, a sort of guide to recovery.
Remember that alcohol, directly or indirectly responsible for more than 200 diseases, kills around 41,000 people each year in France. It is the leading risk factor for premature mortality and disability among 15-49 year olds.
Read the interview: Article reserved for our Dry January subscribers: “Taking a break from alcohol consumption allows you to gain health capital”
Wife of an alcoholic husband who became abstinent a long time ago, Sandra, who has been part of the group for around twenty years, describes her state of astonishment in the face of « tsunami » caused by her son’s mental illness and his increasing alcohol consumption. All the women in this group have arrived “desperate”one saying “no longer know who to turn to”another one «I thought that [sa] life was over”a third speaking of“a monster fog, a black hole”.
Free yourself from guilt
So from Lucie, in the group since June 2020: “I was at the end of my rope, in survival mode. My son’s drinking problem was my obsession. » His son, who suffered from school phobia, saw alcohol as a solution to his anxiety disorders; it became a crutch for him from the age of 16. “He put himself in danger on several occasions, with outbursts of violence, numerous hospitalizations. It’s unbearable to see your child drinking before your eyes, destroying himself.”she says. “When I joined the group, I had for the first time a glimmer of hope, comfort, because I could express myself with people who knew this problem, and we experience such extreme things…” She was also able to free herself from the guilt of being a bad mother, tell herself that she was not doing well and try to change things. “I haven’t found this support anywhere else, neither from psychiatrists nor from doctors. I try to live as best I can and be a support, indirectly. »
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