the mail of the heart / not at all candid
twelve o’clock, March 22, 2021 – 08:00
of answers by Candida Morvillo
The Candida Way,
how do you know if love? I love him, I tell myself. I love him because he makes me laugh, I love him because our nights are space. I hate him when he makes certain arguments that I hate, when he talks about politics, when he is smart at work. I hate him when he brags about his cynicism. I love him because he has filled my loneliness this last year. I love him when I think, given the conditions, better than nothing. Lor I love at night and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable by day. I love him when I say to myself: but yes, they are not serious things, I am the one who is too severe. love this?
without esteem not love. Love when we love in the other things that open our hearts and push us to improve. The rest attraction and entertainment. In a relationship, the space nights fatally thin out and what remains above all is that constructive confrontation from which each of the two comes out, every time, better. Love love only if we can think of it as eternal. It is a love that will never be the love of a lifetime at night and not during the day.
dedicated to you, to you who still exist, but you are no longer there … Who wanted to find another dimension, another distant world, unknown to most who revolve around you around, unaware of your not being. You chose to fly to die… strange. Generally the opposite: one flies to live, one flies high with outstretched wings for reach freedom, to look at the panorama satisfied from above, what appears small but recognizable below, to then return with oxygen in the chest, to live in that air, waiting for a new flight. You chose to fly to die: insane. You flew backwards, you opened your wings to fall, to stop breathing, to look down and catch the dizziness, to touch the land that once belonged to you and satisfied you with your face.Un flight you hoped was the last, no oxygen or breath of breath in your chest, no nourishment, no buds, no blade of grass. Only that bare and arid land that you wanted to welcome you like a madre, but that rejected you, gave you once again the life you deny and want to escape from. I don’t know if by luck or by misfortune. I don’t know if that land, like a mother who loves, who gives birth to a child for life, shook your hands and gave you the courage to try again, ha tenIt was taught to teach you to walk, to find lost balance, with the hope of never seeing yourself fall again. I don’t know if you will fly again, but if one day you decide to do so, I would like you to fly up, towards the sky, in the clouds, in the clear air, breathing deeply, letting yourself be warmed by the sun’s rays, looking down there. that you could own too, if only you allowed your eyes to open to life. Choose to fly to live.
we are all with his friend because his frailty, sooner or later, and hopefully for a fleeting moment, tempts everyone. We would all like to fly and, when we don’t succeed and we feel ourselves falling, at times, we would like to disappear. The misunderstanding, I think, is believing that life calls us to sudden ascents instead of a constant advance uphill, often with adverse wind. The image that comes to mind is that of Joe Biden who, three times, bends as he climbs the ladder from Air Force One. In the tiring progress that the existential path we encounter constant resistance and, only when we are close to the top, we realize that there is not the peace we longed for, there is satisfaction, yes, but also stronger wind. Happiness comes not from the peaks, but from the center of gravity that we are able to hold firmly within us, knowing where we are, because we are the next small step to take to nourish ourselves. If we are not happy, the way is not to throw away the body, but to reunite with the soul. That inner and primal seed of ours always knows what we need to be happy, but we let ourselves be misled by externally induced desires and ambitions: we dream of things that others magnify but do not do for us and, when we find them, we discover that they do not gratify us at all. ; or we don’t know what we want because we don’t know how to listen to ourselves. I wish her friend to come back fully alive, I wish her not to be discouraged and to move on with her life without getting too sad.
my wife caught me with a woman and had a colossal lie. On the one hand this relieved me, on the other it threw me into anguisha: if she is willing to endure my escapades up to this point, she evidently has lovers too. This thought drives me crazy, but obviously I can’t face it openly. Now, I’ve become suspicious and I seem to pick up a thousand signs of his betrayals. How do I deal with this?
there would exist in this year 2021 something called parity. And there would exist, from the dawn of the centuries, a thing called love that rhymes with reciprocity. The unfaithful husband who demands a faithful wife should not change his wife, but change his mentality.
March 22, 2021 | 08:00