Dogs of Berlin: Berlin dog waste becomes a natural world heritage site

2023-07-03 11:37:16
HomeCultureDogs of Berlin: Berlin dog waste becomes a natural world heritage site

Our beloved city receives a very special and well-deserved honor from Unesco. New part of the humorous column “Find the mistake”.

Anselm Neft

In no other city in the world are there as many dog ​​turds as in Berlin. Heiko Becker/imago

There have always been initiatives to limit the dog excrement problem in Berlin. None of them were really successful. The capital is as full of shit as ever with 15 tons of “walkie mass” a day. Now the responsible committee of Unesco has surprisingly declared the heaps in Berlin as a World Heritage Site. But not everyone is cheering.

From January 1, 2024, the exposed dog waste in Berlin will be considered a natural world heritage site. Unesco decided on an anonymous application and announced it last night. The reasoning of the committee is: “In no other city in the world are there as many dog ​​poo as in Berlin. They are part of the identity and folklore of the inhabitants.

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Most importantly, the animal shit provides a natural habitat for many interesting life forms, including Salmonella, Campylobacter, and a variety of gorgeous worms (tapeworm, roundworm, hookworm, whipworm, heartworm, and lungworm).”

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The justification also states that the dogs of Berlin (“Dogs of Berlin”) can be described as true shit artists. The shape, color and consistency of their piles impressed with their wide range and also attracted visitors from other regions and abroad to Berlin. Experts explain the diversity of the faecal landscape with the very diverse feeding methods in the capital: From barfen to “eat with me” to gluten-free vegan, dogs in Berlin receive a wide range of food, not counting treats.

Maren Kaschner

To the author

Anselm Neft, born near Bonn in 1973, studied unrelated subjects, wrote his master’s thesis on contemporary Satanism, worked through jobs ranging from dishwasher to management consultant and now lives as a freelance author and writer in Hamburg. There he runs the literary podcast “laxbrunchand writes articles and books. His latest novel is called “Late Children” and was published by Rowohlt-Verlag. He writes the humorous column “Find the error” for the Berliner Zeitung.

pride and Prejudice

Many dog ​​owners are delighted that the legacies of their beloved four-legged friends are now being awarded an internationally recognized seal of quality. Ramona P. from Britz says: “My Charlie often has diarrhea. I’ll save the bags. And now I’m really proud of Weltdingsbumms!” Hubert F. from Reinickendorf also sees the award as an award: “It’s great that the shit from my Wauwau Weiwei is now also being honored. It’s about time!” However, there are also critical voices, for example from BeHuHa eV, the association of Berlin dog haters. In a statement, the self-serving association wrote: “Dogs suck. And dog shit is shit shit. You can honor Berlin for so many things – for example for the poisoned baits that are laboriously laid out here – but for that? Fuck it!”

Dogs of Berlin: There are almost 130,000 of them. Karina Hessland/imago

The main thing is decoration

Almost 130,000 dogs live and poop in Berlin. Most of them like to do it twice, so that a whopping 260,000 heaps a day are pressed from round backs onto asphalt and meadows. Some masters and mistresses use dog waste bags to collect the leftovers of their four-legged friends and dispose of them in a wastepaper basket. Or hang the bag somewhere as a decoration. Other pet owners are so engrossed in their smartphones that they don’t even notice their dog’s shit. Still others think that dog excrement simply belongs on the streets of Berlin like doner kebab leftovers and climate glue.

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There have already been many initiatives to curb the faecal problem. From “Overall strategy for a clean city. Hahaha!” (2002) to “Berlin doesn’t need brown shit” (2011) to “Bags or bumps!” (2021) – none of them was lastingly successful. Even privately operating excrement sheriffs and clean vigilante groups were rarely able to do much. So maybe it’s best to just accept the shit and celebrate. With the “World Natural Heritage” award, it’s certainly a little easier.

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