Hent Hamming grew up in Groningen in the 1960s. His father Dick is a renowned pediatrician who is much loved by his patients. A social, sporty, successful man. Hard on himself in all his ambitions, and just as hard on his children. Too hard. What father Dick later calls ‘a beating’ because he wants to encourage his son to achieve, is much worse than that. His mother, teachers at schools and many others see it, but do not intervene.
If something is so obvious, why isn’t anyone doing anything?
Those were different times, says Hamming. ‘As a pediatrician you were above everything and everyone. A man like that wouldn’t hold you accountable for his behaviour.’ The impressive, sad story of Hent Hamming can be read extensively on the RTV Noord site.
If you don’t say anything, it didn’t happen
“If you don’t say anything, it didn’t happen.” It was under that motto that Hent Hamming decided three years ago to tell his story. He will perform the performance he made then again on Thursday 8 September: this time for healthcare professionals during a conference of the UMCG, Martini Hospital, OZG and Safe Home. To inspire them and especially to get moving if they see or suspect that a child is being abused. ‘If my parents or others had seen such a performance at the time, it would have been more likely that it would not have happened to me,’ Hamming thinks.
Peacetime Heroes
Times have changed, there is a child abuse reporting code. If we now see that a child is being abused, it will be reported. However?
“I think it’s still difficult,” Hamming says. ‘When do you intervene, when do you let something go? That only becomes clear when it occurs. Everyone is a hero in peacetime. The question is: do you have the guts to do something or do you look away? Are you afraid that you are doing something wrong, that you are not adhering to the procedures and protocols, as a healthcare professional?’
Do you intervene?
UMCG pediatrician Michel van Vliet agrees: ‘Dick Hamming, Hent’s father, was a respected doctor, loved by his patients. It was unimaginable that he mistreated his child. That position, the doctor on the pedestal, is no longer the case. So yes, times have changed. But do you intervene if something is not right? When people see an argument on the street or in the supermarket, most people do nothing. 85% of people do not intervene, do not report. It’s always easier to look away.’
Don’t bury your head in the sand
Some time ago, the child abuse reporting code was tightened up. To draw attention to this, the Groningen hospitals UMCG, Martini Hospital and OZG are organizing a conference for healthcare professionals together with Safe Home. The most important message? ‘Don’t bury your head in the sand if you see or suspect something,’ says Van Vliet.
‘A lot has changed for the better in recent decades. In the past, we hardly asked questions, did not see or did not want to see if there was child abuse. Now it is. We are there for the safety of the child, that is leading. As healthcare professionals, we stick our necks out. A reporting code and protocols help with this. At the same time, it is sometimes very difficult for healthcare professionals; it can lead to lengthy legal proceedings, arguments with the parents, questions and doubts about your actions… We will discuss these kinds of matters during the congress. How do you deal with these kinds of situations? How do you handle it? How do you handle such a difficult conversation with parents in the right way?’
Long-term consequences
Van Vliet emphasizes the importance of the health of the child. ‘If you do nothing, it will have enormous consequences for a child. Not just now, but also in the long term. Heal bruises and fractures. But toxic stress does something to your brain. Your hormone balance changes and the stress at a young age increases the chance that you will die earlier. If you manage to break the cycle, it means something for that child in the short term, but also for the rest of his life and even for generations afterwards.’